Turned

Chapter Sixty Nine

I left him some food and clothes before I left, hurrying out as fast as I could. I didn't want to go but at the same time, I did, I had to go. I texted Matt and let him know I was coming home, in case Lena was there... or he was with someone. I didn't want to know who he was with or walk into something and see something I didn't want to see or need to see.

I walked through the door after a long walk home, throwing myself on the sofa as I listened out for Matt's soft heartbeat. I sighed as I picked up another one, similar speed but said absolutely nothing as I heard him check his phone, fumbling around in his room as he got dressed.

He flung opened the door, redder than a tomato. I didn't ask, I didn't want to or want to know, I just wanted to curl up into a ball, feed later when I could.

I could hear an extra pair of footsteps, dainty, soft feet on the ground. The door quickly opened and silently closed as the footsteps continued until she was out the house completely.

Matt didn't say a word, he just sat across from me. He watched me, blushing as he sat completely still.

"I don't want to know" I stated.

"Lena went out with friends... I..."

"I don't care" I stated harshly.

I got up and took a long shower. I needed one, my mind was filled with a harsh and cruel panic, one I couldn't forget nor forgive myself for what I put Nick through. I couldn't forgive myself for allowing him to put anyone in danger, it was wrong of me, something I couldn't just forgive or forget, something I wasn't about to try and forgive. All I had done to him, it wasn't fair, none of it was fair, he didn't deserve any of it.

My mind fought itself, thoughts bouncing backwards and forwards, twisting and turning in my head, cursing me and holding me tight, choking me, refusing to allow me to let go but I realised... I had to let him go, it wasn't fair to cling onto him, he didn't deserve it. If I cared for him, I'd have to let him go, even if I didn't want to, even if my head fought me, tried to stop me... I'd have to, I'd have no choice but to let him go.

"Jack, what is it?" Matt asked me, questioning my silence.

"Nothing" I lied.

"Tell me" Matt pecked.

I told him everything, literally everything about what happened, what the hunters tried to do to Nick, turning on him as if he'd done anything wrong. He hadn't, he couldn't have. I didn't see a monster when I looked at him, I saw a man who turned into a wolf. Even then, the wolf wasn't monstrous, it wasn't evil, it just acted on its own instincts, I understood that, if things were different, I'd be the same.

"Well, sounds like an eventful night... are you sure I can't help you?" Matt asked, hinting sickeningly.

"I'll be fine" I lied.

He rolled his eyes and offered his arm. I pushed it away, but he could see the hunger in my eyes. It was too much to deny but I kept pushing him away, I had to.

"Jack, come on"

"I can't" I admitted.

"Why not? You're not going to kill me, I know that... I know you" Matt replied.

"Because I can't, I don't want to hurt you. Besides, how are you going to hide it?"

"I'll wear a watch, stop worrying about me and feed, before I worry about you and follow you, everywhere" he threatened jokingly.

I didn't want to, but I did it, I bit down into his wrist, drawing his warm blood. I sipped it careful. Although he tried to hide it, I could feel his pain and it made me hate the act even more. I withdrew my fangs hastily after barely taking anything. I cleaned his blood off my mouth and just went to my room and changed my clothes before laying down on the sofa, worrying about the events later. As much as I tried to deny it, pretend it wasn't true, I was scared of change, I was frightened of losing everything I worked hard for.

"Jack, are you alright?"

"Fine, why?"

I didn't know what I was going to do about my hunger, I knew it would only grow and that I'd have little choice but to go back, drink a bottle from the club, hopefully without people seeing me.

I made Matt a cup of tea and didn't say anything when he stole my packet of crisps from the cupboard. Who was I to rain down on his parade? The parade of a good man, loyal and trusting, sweet and kind, to whoever needed his kindness and love. To me, he was like a brother, someone I could love, trust, tell all my secrets to and hear them in return. 

"Thanks" Matt said as I handed him a cup of tea.

"And thank you... for... you know" I said.

"Any time, we're going to get through this together, you and I, no matter what"

"Thank you" I replied, blushing a little bit.

"What?"

"You've gone all brotherly love on me" I complained.

"Well, get used to it because I want to help you. Family is important, you're my family and I'm happy to be your family, if you'll have me"

"Yes, of course I will, you're my family, Matt, you're my brother... you and Lena, you both keep me sane... Lena sometimes keeps me sane but... I love you, like a brother and I care for you, I will keep caring for you, as long as you don't sacrifice your life for me, please"

"Sacrifice my life? No, I'm going to live it. Yes, my friend might be a vampire, my brother might be a vampire but, I don't care, we're here, on this planet, only once... I intend to make the most out of it and take a shower" 

"Good idea" I stated as I lay down on the sofa.

Matt trotted happily to the shower, I could hear him humming to himself as he got undressed. I sighed happily, a mild hunger was nothing I couldn't deal with, I'd dealt with worse.

I closed my eyes, ready to sleep, to find them ruined by the obnoxious door bell. I got up and grumbled. Swinging open the door without looking I asked, "Lena, did you forget your keys again?"

"No... never had a key" Nick replied as he stood outside, jumping around in the cold. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, come in" I offered.