Turned

Chapter Seventy

We stood there awkwardly for a few moments, I didn't know what he wanted but I was expecting a lecture, but he just hugged me. I didn't understand, I just stepped back afterwards in complete shock, I couldn't help it, I had to just take a step back. He looked at me, but I said nothing.

He smiled awkwardly, blushing a little. I didn't know what he was going to do, what he was going to say. Fearfully, I watched him, waited for a single word to be uttered from his lips.

He cleared his throat and said "I... I wanted to say thanks for last night... and I'm sorry if I..."

"You didn't hurt me" I promised.

He sighed and looked at me. I guided him to the sofa. I sat opposite him, looking into his gorgeous topaz eyes as he drummed his knees.

He stopped suddenly, looking at me. "I... I want to tell you something... I have to"

"Of course, what it is?" I asked inquisitively.

My insides were twisting, I feared the worst yet tried not to show it. Inside, I was breaking, screaming, clawing at myself.

"I..." he started, making me even more on edge. He took a deep breath and said, "I miss you"

"Nick..." I started.

"Please, let me get this out. I have been... awful to you, I didn't take us being opposites well, at all... I..."

"I understand why, I hid it from you, what I was, who I was... I didn't want to accept it, but I have, Nick, I have. I'm okay with us just being friends" I stated as I faked a smile. I hated lying, I couldn't stand it, but I didn't have a choice if I wanted to keep him, I understood that.

"I was wrong, and I lied. We both lied to each other... but I lied about something else, I lied because I... I was worried about just how opposite we are but... we're not... not really. I know what you are and what I am but I... I don't care" he stated.

"Nick, I... I don't know what to say... can it really be?"

"You taught me something, that you were right all along, I just didn't see it. This isn't about what we are, human, vampire, werewolf, it doesn't matter. I love you, Jack, I will whether we're together or not... I can't stop thinking about you, even on the full moon, I thought about you, I couldn't... hurt you" Nick explained.

"For a long time, I hoped this would happen, then I stopped hoping. All I wanted was for you to see that we could be"

"Now?" Nick asked.

"Now, what I want is you but not if you're just going to change your mind... I can't do that, deal with that" I admitted.

Nick didn't answer, making my still heart crack inside in agony. What I had said, what I had done... I must've driven him away. I sighed and turned around, ready to let him out. He grabbed my hand, spinning me around as he gently kissed me. It felt like the sky lit up, certainly the light in my heart burned brightly as he kissed me, not letting go of me.

"Will you forgive me?" I asked.

"If you do the same for me" Nick replied.

"Always" I promised.

That was the painful thing. I would forgive him anything, whatever he did, I could find a way to forgive it, forget it. I would do anything for him, for the man I loved more than anything, more than life itself. I didn't know where I'd go in my life, what I'd do in my life, yet I wanted to do something with my life, I wanted to find a way in life, find my way through.

He and I walked outside, into the darkness of the moon, barely visible behind the mass of darkened clouds. I said nothing as he drove back to his house, a sweet smile on his face as he invited me in. I felt like I was in a dream but that was probably because, in my eyes, he could do no wrong. 

I didn't feel like a monster, I didn't want to be a monster around him. I loved him so much, even if I didn't believe it, didn't want to admit it.

He pulled me in for a passionate kiss and for once in what felt like so long, my heart felt like it beat again. I felt the freedom I had never felt before in my existence, until then, that very moment when he and I kissed, when I admitted how much I loved him, to myself, accepted it was true, that it wouldn't go away, I couldn't send it away because of how much I loved him. 

"I love you" I whispered, allowing the words to flow out of my mouth.

"And I you" Nick promised. He smiled, making me feel alive again. "Blue eyes" he whispered. 

"Together again?" I asked.

"Always, now and forever"

"Will we... have forever?" I asked.

"I... I don't know... is it... is it a problem?" Nick replied with uncertainty.

"What? No"

"But it concerns you?" Nick asked.

"Even if we have a limited amount of time... we'll make the most of it, of all the time we have together" I promised.

I loved him enough to want to spend what time we had, together, a wolf and vampire, it wasn't such a bad combination, it was something I could learn to live with. I didn't fear the wolf, instead I fixed the damage it caused, replacing the glass, cleaning up the pieces of broken glass. Nick tried to stop me, my hands were ribbons, healing quickly enough for me to barely notice as I picked it up and put it in the bin. I didn't care, I didn't feel much of the pain, a prick of a needle, maybe but little else.

Nick wanted to talk about our lives together, our time together, I could tell he was frightened of the idea that I'd live forever, only to watch him die. The idea didn't thrill me, but it didn't scare me either. I loved him, that for me, was enough... it had to be enough, otherwise I'd go insane and lose myself.