Turned

Chapter Eighty Six

He ripped my bloody shirt off and took most of my weight for the majority of the time, taking most of my weight. I approached Lena's, a sense of dread as he rang the doorbell. When she didn't answer, I panicked inside, my insides mush.

She took her time answering the door, in a nightdress, dressing gown with soaking wet hair. When I saw she was okay, my heart, it felt alive for a few moments. He glanced at me and nodded. She looked at me, I could see something... curiosity, perhaps or shame, I wasn't sure. One thing I knew, I loved and cared for her, too much to get her involved.

He told her not to invite Leo in, that he was drunk and dangerous... in way it wasn't a lie, in a way we were telling the truth, barely but she didn't need to know everything, somethings were best left unsaid, best kept quiet, to prevent future problems. 

"Come on, Jack, I'll get to Quicksilver, get you something before you kill us both" Caleb whispered as he practically carried me.

I didn't realise how fast he was, how short the journey until he practically dragged me inside, sitting me down on a chair, he force fed me blood until my veins were open enough for him to inject it straight. I lay back, the vampire blood was diluting, becoming weaker, the effects were weaker now, I felt freer than I had in a while, my head much clearer.

 "Thank you" I whispered.

"You're not out the woods yet, Baby Vampire, just... hold on" Caleb explained, his hand on my shoulder.

"To what?" I asked, slightly delirious.

"To whatever you have to, in order to survive. Fight, fight with all the strength you have, is that understood? Don't give up, Jack, don't you dare!"

"I'm trying" I whispered tearfully.

"What is it?"

"I killed them... I killed them both, my family... I murdered them" I cried with such emotion, I never thought I'd feel it, I was convinced I wouldn't.

"No, you didn't" Caleb replied coldly but... it sounded true, I was genuinely uncertain... afraid I had helped kill.

"Your conscience is clear"

It didn't feel it, it felt broken, I felt like I had... killed them. I didn't want to believe it, but I barely had any memories... I could see him, me... it was me, the red eyes were mine... the fangs were mine... it was all mine... it was my look, my monstrous face. I didn't know what to do, what to say, there wasn't a thing I could say that would make it any better.

I forced my eyes to shut, hoping I could just sleep, rest easily, knowing I'd done what I had to, knowing I'd done everything I could to survive... it was all just for survival, but I doubted that, I believed I'd killed them, in cold blood.

The painful memory was unbearable, screaming at me to stop, to just... stop, to stop fighting the inevitable fate, that one day I'd kill... if I hadn't already.

I couldn't fight what I was, what I'd become, there I was, the purest of monsters, the evilest of monsters, desperately after human blood, wishing I could feed off every single one of them. I fought that, I had to... it had to be a lie, the memories I had... they had to be a pack of lies but I couldn't believe it... it was me, I was the monster... I was the killer in the end. 

"Jack" a voice called out, holding my hand. "What did you do?!" he snapped.

"Me? Nothing. Why is it the vampire always gets the blame? I found him, before that... thing could kill him, or worse, make him into a killer, you're welcome" Caleb snapped.

"What happened?" Nick asked, I finally identified the voice.

"Leo happened, he tried to make Jack a killer, I got there... I couldn't enter, until they were..."

"Wait, are you saying that he... did it?"

"Leo? Yes, he... you know what"

"Why would Leo...?"

"I don't know, he had Jack locked up, I'm guessing, same as me"

"How did you escape?"

"Because he was an idiot, he left me alone and I took my chances, I tracked Jack... by the time... I couldn't save them, I could only save him"

"Thank you"

"Don't thank me, I can barely stand you being here, your kind... the stench never leaves once it's infected everything" Caleb snapped.

"Can we put our differences aside, for one moment, please?" Nick requested.

Caleb scoffed. "You came here, because I invited you, out of respect for him, I'll tolerate you, little else, is that understood, dog?"

"Whatever you say" Nick agreed.

"Try not to shed hairs on my carpets, they're a murder to vacuum"

"I'll do my very best" Nick promised in a sarcastic tone. "Will he be alright?"

"Physically, his wounds are healing, mentally? Who knows... not me, not you, not even Leo. He wanted a killer, he might've made one"

"How?"

"The mind can only take so much, before it snaps. Witnessing their deaths might've been the snap, might've been enough to send him to the dark place, I suppose calling it Hell would be... reasonable, not many vampires come out of it, those that do, will always bear the scars of that place. Whatever happens, he'll always want revenge, it is the inevitable"

"Like you?"

"Yes, like me" Caleb admitted as he put his hand on my shoulder.

He left me alone with Nick. I couldn't look him in the eye, I was a killer now, always would be... it was me, I killed them, I genuinely believed it. Had it actually been Leo? Had it been me? Was I now a monster? Was I now the killer I feared so much? Had I become the very thing I never wanted to be, to become? The monster that fed on humans, desired human blood above all things. Was I the monster or was I a man?