Turned

Chapter Thirty One

I called in sick at work, I didn't want to face Nick, I couldn't, I was convinced it was over and it was all my fault. I cursed it, I cursed how easily I fell, how I knew it would end in heartbreak and tears, in unbearable pain, it was like I was being stabbed with needles multiple times. I didn't say a word to him, not a text or phone call, there was no point, it was over before it really began all thanks to Leo and his awful mouth. 

I wanted to kill him, it took all my strength not to but I wanted to, I wanted to tear off his head and throw it as far as I could, see if I could break a world record. I hated what he'd done, what he could do to someone. 

I lay in bed, I didn't think about anything else but how Leo managed to scare Nick off, I hated Leo for that, it took all my effort and my respect for Matt to stop myself from killing him, from storming over and ripping into him, draining all his blood but for some reason, Nick wasn't on my list, maybe it was because the break up was fresh and therefore I believed he didn't deserve it or maybe it was something else, I wasn't sure, I didn't care, Leo deserved to be in as much pain as possible. He made it sound like we were going out, not picking a drunk up.

I just lay there like a log, hoping death would be merciful and rip my heart out. Maybe if I was the soulless vampire in books and films, I'd be able to turn off my emotions and murder Leo but it seems I was out of luck, I didn't have it in me to get up, let alone face and kill Leo... the vampire blood had tamed me, at least for the time being, I'd have to wait before I strike Leo... if I was going to strike him down. 

I heard Matt open the front door, vampire super hearing absolutely sucked, I hated it, I wanted to pretend there was nothing, that I was nowhere and surrounded by no one, I wanted to cry on my own without the judgments of others, to hide my face because I couldn't face going to work.

"Jack?" Matt said softly.

I didn't answer, I just wanted to be left alone, in pieces, with the pieces of my mind and shattered heart.

"Come on, Jack, I know you can hear me" Matt called out.

Matt opened my bedroom door and pushed an unopened can of beer and a ham and cheese baguette under my nose.

"I don't usually eat food... or drink alcohol"

"You are tonight"

I picked up the baguette and took a small bite out of it, it was lukewarm but at least I could taste it. I chewed it, it was like chewing a tire but I didn't say anything, I just kept eating until at least half of it was gone, long gone.

"There will be someone else" Matt promised.

"I really thought it was him... no one's made me feel like he did, he made me feel alive... ironic, isn't it?"

"He wasn't right, clearly, especially if he's frightened off by Leo"

"Where is he? Is he here?"

"No, I didn't take him back to ours... I didn't think he'd survive if I did" Matt admitted.

"You're probably right there" I replied as an admission.

There was no point in lying about it, I wanted to rip Leo's face off, I wanted to kill him, to feed from him. I wanted him to suffer before he died, finally, when I wanted him to die, when I wanted it to end.

I let Matt have the beer and the other half of the baguette. I wasn't interested in alcohol or food, I just wanted to sink into a pit somewhere and vanish. If I ever needed a reason to leave the city, Nick was one of them... my heart was one of them. Finding someone I care about so quickly was rare, not unheard of but rare and it didn't help my heartbreak, only made it so much worse to handle, worse to deal with. 

"Come on, get out of bed" he ordered.

"No" I said.

"Come on, I will try and pull you out" Matt replied.

"I don't want to go out" I snapped.

I just sat up and caught a glimpse of a plaster on Matt's hand. I peeled it off, tracing the small cut, looking up at him in surprise.

"Yes, you did it, yes, I understand it was an accident, don't worry, it doesn't hurt" Matt answered, before I had a chance to ask him.

"I feel guilty enough as it is... without" I said before shutting up. "Forget it". It was coming back, the hunger. It was slower because I knew what to expect but I could still feel it. "Get away from me, please"

Matt didn't even move. I could feel my hunger growing, I gently pushed him but even then, he wouldn't move, it was as if he was stuck to the floor, until he sat down on my bed. He didn't look afraid, he sat there, looking at me.

"What?" I asked as I sat up. "Just go... please"

"Are you scared of losing control? Is that it?"

"I'm scared of killing someone... like I want to murder that..." I stopped myself before I could finish. I hated Leo, I wanted him dead but I had no idea what the blood of a drunk would do to me, whether I'd feel like I'd had one too many too. "I told you, I don't want to hurt people, it isn't fair"

"What isn't fair is you being what you are, something you didn't ask for" Matt replied defensively.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm telling you that I want to help" Matt explained as he offered his wrist.