Turned

Chapter Eighteen

It didn't take me long before I realised I was wrong, Matt was worth it all and he was right, I'd neglected to ask him, I'd forgotten to offer him the choice he'd desperately desired. I loved him like a brother and shutting him out was wrong, I thought I had no choice but I'd never been more wrong... I had a choice, I had to do what I had to do, no matter the cost.

He'd stayed with me until closing, I didn't mind but some vampires were watching me like a hawk, thankfully Sapphire wasn't one of them, she didn't mind it seemed or I'd get a polite warning later on but she didn't seem interested in me, which I admit, was a weight off my mind but I couldn't delay the inevitable, I'd have to feed soon or I'd end up hurting someone.

I walked up the stairs, into the falsified VIP section. It wasn't for VIPs, it was reserved, for vampires like me... monsters in the dark and this monster had to feed, or people would suffer.

Matt followed me through, I just nodded at security to let him in so he wouldn't be stuck behind the barriers. He looked almost... impressed, like it wasn't what he'd expected but I was used to its impressiveness, I'd lived in it long enough to know its secrets but I wasn't going to spoil it all for Matt.

"Come in" I joked as I stopped outside the empty lounge.

"Where are the others?" he asked, looking sheepishly around.

"I've not lured you here, Matt" I replied. I realised how sharp it sounded and added "but I understand your fears"

We didn't say anything else as he toured the place, the large red sofas, designed to hide the worst of vampiric stains... blood, human blood.

He walked to the large dark wood book shelves in the corner, filled with old publications of classic books, Frankenstein and a handful others, all lovingly taken care of, not even a speck of dust on them.

I watched his eyes move to a fridge, that I refused to let him see. I gently grabbed his hand, at worst leaving a small, barely detectable bruise. His eyes met mine as I shook my head and opened it when his back was turned, sipping from a large bottle before quickly hiding it.

"You don't need to hide it from me" Matt replied with a gut-wrenching smile.

I didn't reply, I didn't know what to say to him but his curiosity continued as he explored the place.

"What?" I asked to cut the silence.

"Is this where you live?"

"Not really, no, it's just a place" I replied.

"Where do you sleep?" Matt asked.

"I told you, I don't usually sleep but I have a room... it's close... there are no humans to... you know"

"Hurt?"

"Yeah... among other things" I admitted carefully.

Matt nodded once. He knew when to drop a conversation, before it became too much and felt like it was crippling or suffocating me. I hated that feeling, of losing control, what a feeling it was, how annoying and yet accurate it could be.

"You look better now" he commented. "Than about ten minutes ago" he added.

"I feel it, it works quickly" I replied.

Whatever he wanted to know, I'd tell him but some conversations were just too awkward in nature to have, even with a friend such as him. He didn't say a word, he didn't need to, I could see the trust in his eyes... he trusted me. I didn't know if it made the whole thing harder or easier but it certainly complicated the situation. The last thing I wanted to do was harm my best friend, not when I'd just built up a life here, not when I'd finally admitted what I had to, said what needed saying about me, about what I'd become. I'd only really begun to admit it to myself, I'd spent the first few weeks of the turn, lying and denying it... now... I have to accept it or face a life alone, going insane with bloodlust.

"I... I want to ask you something and get it out of the way" Matt confessed.

"Sure, what is it?" I asked.

Awkwardly, he walked around in a circle, probably panicking inside, wondering just how to ask. I thought it was always best to just say it, it won't hurt any less if you walk around in a giant circle.

"Have you... hurt anyone?"

I knew what he was asking, trying to be so polite about it. I sighed, holding back a cruel laughter. "No, no I've not killed anyone, human or animal"

Was I tempted to? All the time but I understood the consequences of killing would be high, higher than I was willing to pay. If I took a life, I had to bring another back to the vampires, not for a feast but for the purpose of turning them, they had to be made into a vampire, no questions or excuses, it didn't matter if you were a month old, a year old or the oldest vampire known to our kind, the rules were rules and therefore, couldn't be broken, by anyone.

"I didn't mean... to ask that" he lied. I could hear it, his heart skipping beats but I didn't say anything about it, he was lying to be kind, not cruel.

"So, you're still okay with... me"

"You're my best friend, I wouldn't care if you turned into a cabbage" Matt promised with another quick hug. He pulled himself away, blushing a little. "Sorry"

"I'm fine" I lied.

I was better, not completely fine... temptation was still there, whether I fed or not, just without blood it was stronger and I could feel it scratching to get out. If I'd fed, it was weaker, more of a whisper in my ear, an order I could ignore.

"You're managing it then?"

"Trying to... Lena... she"

"Can't know... I guessed as much"

"To be honest, I doubt I'd have told you either, if you hadn't... seen it for yourself"

"To be honest, I doubt I'd have told you either, if you hadn't... seen it for yourself" I admitted, looking at him to try and guess his reaction.

"But you did" he replied.

"But I did" I responded.