Just My Cup of Tea

prologue

His blue eyes were the only thing I could see. I stared into those eyes, the same eyes that I had fallen in love with over the course of 3 years- the same eyes that overwhelmed me with feelings of adoration and made my heart swell and explode with happiness. 

And now those same eyes were fixated on me, soft and apologetic, such a contrast to the words that escaped the mouth of the owner of these eyes I loved so much. I blinked at those eyes for a moment, watching the dim light dance on the surface of iris and bring out every shade of the ocean. 

When I didn't reply, the owner of those eyes spoke again. 'Lanna?' he called my name. I opened my mouth to reply but when the words didn't come out I closed it again. I was frozen to the spot unable to process what was going on. Everything seemed surreal and dream-like and suddenly those beautiful blue orbs filled with pity. Pity-for me. 

'You're breaking up with me.' I stated to my to-be-ex-boyfriend, Eric, with a blank face. His eyes softened even further (if that were possible) and he shook his head quickly. 

'No! Not breaking up! Just- taking a break-'

'So breaking up?' I raised an eyebrow at him.

'No I-'

'Taking a break is just a nicer word of saying it. If you're gonna break up with me, you might as well do it with some dignity and say the full words to my face.' My voice rang in my own ears and sounded monotonic. I sounded nothing like myself and Eric probably recognized that his eyes overflowing with guilt. 

'Lanna-' he started before I cut him off.

'Don't.' I raised a hand up to stop him. 'Don't. Call me that.' His eyes suddenly filled with sadness and he looked beyond uncomfortable as he squirmed under my gaze. 

'Please Lanna, let me explain!' he pleaded completely ignoring what I had just told him not to do. I crossed my arms over my chest suddenly feeling very exposed and not so monotonic anymore. I didn't like how far he was standing from me. I didn't like how naked and vulnerable I felt standing in front of him, as if whatever I said or however I acted wouldn't affect him knowing how much this was affecting me. 

'Okay. Explain.' He looked a little taken aback for a second, as if he was expecting to plead some more but quickly regained his composure, his eyes on the ground before they flickered up to capture mine. 

'I just- I don't think that with me going abroad and all, we're gonna last that long. I can't- I can't stand the idea of a long distance relationship and I don't want us-'

'-to have lost all the sparks by the time you come back?' I finish for him. God, if he was gonna make excuses, could he at least come up with something original. Ignoring me he continued. 

'-to become so distant because of the lack of seeing each other. And I didn't want to make you feel like you were trapped in a relationship where you couldn't even see your boyfriend so with us not being together you could meet new people and-' 

I burst out laughing. At first, it was genuine and then it became a hysteric laugh that made it hard to breathe and I had to bend over to clutch my stomach to stop the clenching. Tears sprung to my eyes and it took everything I had to not bawl right there right then. 

When I stood up straight again, wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes, I smiled at Eric. 'You could have at least come up with an excuse that didn't sound so pathetic.' I laughed again and Eric opened his mouth to protest, his eyes filled with genuine hurt. 

'Save it. I've heard enough. I get it. These last three years of us being together didn't mean anything to you and you've run out of feelings and now you just want someone else to have me.' my eyes locked with his and I gave him an emotionless stare. 

'Millana that's not true!' I grinned again and stopped him before he could continue his complaint. 

'Of course, it's not true Eric. Why else would you end what we have had for so long?' Eric took a deep breath as if to compose himself before taking a step towards me. 

'Lanna-'

'It's Millana.' I corrected. 

'Millana.' his eyes scrutinized me. 'I don't want the distance to tear us apart. I want us to stay friends and when I come back...maybe try again?'

'That's funnier than the last thing you said. Sure you're not wanting to opt for a comedian career?' 

'I'm serious! And I don't want to hold you back while I'm gone either, that would be selfish! So if you want to see other people-'

'First of all, now that we're broken up, the "if" in me wanting to see other people shouldn't even matter because I can do whatever I want if anything I can walk to the first guy that walks out those doors and make out with him. Secondly, if you're not selfish when it comes to me, then I'm questioning how much you love me in the first place. And lastly, are you sure this "seeing other people" is for my benefit, or have you gotten a good thumbs up on how sexy those Brazilian girls are so you wanna go there with a clear conscience knowing you're single?'

Eric gaped at me in utter shock. 

I gave him a small smile. 'Honestly, pick whichever excuse you want. If it'll make you feel better when you're getting laid there go ahead and use the "distance will drive us apart so let's see other people" excuse. I don't mind.'

For a second he looked hurt. Really hurt. But I didn't care. I wanted to hurt him. 'Lanna- I'm doing this for us. For you.' Those eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. They pierced through my soul and made all my words get stuck in my throat. 

'No you aren't. If you were doing it for me, you wouldn't let me go like this.' We stood in silence for a moment, my eyes fixated on the ground while his never moved from my face. After awhile, I cleared my throat and smiled up at him. My eyes had begun to sting as the reality drew down on me. And if I were going to cry- it was going to be away from those ocean eyes. 

'I hope you have fun in Brazil.' I told him with genuinity in my voice before I tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and walked away from the boy who promised he would stay. 

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A/N: Aww poor Lanna :( But don't you love how she handled that break up like damn that's my girl. Remember to COMMENT and VOTE on your way out and SHARE too