Just My Cup of Tea

thirty two

'Millana!' he noticed me instantly. I was stood a few meters away from him, the keys to my apartment clutched tightly in my hand and my bag hanging off my shoulder loosely as I gaped at him. He looked good, as always. His icy blue eyes looked warm and had a glow in them that made my heart flutter. 

'Eric.' My voice came out breathy and quiet and hardly a whisper but he most likely heard it. He took a careful step towards me, caution in his eyes. He was in a simple black T-shirt that clung onto his chest for dear life and a pair of khaki shorts that stopped just above his knees. He looked good. 

Then realization slapped me in the face and I quickly recalled how our last meeting ending with a confession of undying love, a desperate apology, a bucket or two of tears and a torn heart. 

'What are you doing here?' I finally asked, regaining my voice and standing up a little taller, averting my eyes to anywhere but on his gaze. He stopped a few feet away from me, his eyes assessing every single one of my features with his carefully scrutinizing gaze. But it was less uncomfortable than I would have expected thanks to the softness in his eyes. He looked at me like he was admiring me. Remembering me. 

'I...I just...' he started, taking another small step forward. It seemed more subconscious than knowing. I crossed my arms over my chest in hope to create some kind of physical barrier between us. 

'I needed to see you.' he admitted in a small breathy and defeated voice.

I blinked at him for a moment before letting out a soft sigh and running my hand through my hair. 

'Eric you know you can't be here.' I sounded exhausted and honestly at this point Eric was the last person I wanted to see. He and Alexander seemed to be playing tennis with my heart, each taking goes to have a good swing at it and I was getting sick and tired of being pushed back and forth between their bullshit.

'Millana please don't send me away. Whatever you do, don't send me away.' he sounded desperate and his voice cracked towards the end of his sentence. I faced my door and wordlessly unlocked it, ignoring the boy who was standing a few feet away, begging. Begging for me. 

'I want to be alone right now Eric-' before he could interrupt I turned to face him and this time I spoke with an authority and finality that he couldn't argue against. 

'-I am absolutely and utterly exhausted and you need to understand that you don't have a place in my life anymore. You're not my friend. You're not my boyfriend. You're not my husband. You may have held significance once but things have changed. So if you have any respect for me, please, stay out of my way. I'm sorry. But you made your choice a year ago and this time I'm making mine. And just as I respected your choice, I'd appreciate it if you returned the favour.' 

Eric stood there stunned, his eyes searching for any vulnerability or softness in my face - softness that he failed to find. His Lanna was no longer standing in front of him, I wanted to be a stranger that he knew through a pair of cold brown eyes and the name Ms Millana Meyers. I gave him one final hard look and held my chin up, holding my guard down. 

Respect is earned, not given. And being the oldest daughter of two of the most powerful business owners came with its advantages. I knew how to mold myself into a perfect pristine statue of bone and flesh who's face betrayed no emotion. 

'Goodbye Eric.' I said in a clear voice, my face unmoving. Hurt flashed in his eyes but I offered no smile to nurse his pain, and instead I walked into my apartment and shut the door tight behind me. 

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'Alison get the door!' I yelled from inside my room, hearing the doorbell ring for the 3rd time.