Mercy

Chapter 29

The next day the doctors released me from the hospital with a mild concussion. To be honest part of me was ready to get out of there but the other part of me was scared to death to go home. As I stepped into the apartment I felt sick, like someone was twisting up my organs and squeezing. At least at the hospital I had a sense of protection but here anything could happen. Fear of the possibility of something happening seemed to rule my life since I was young. I laid out across my bed and began to think about my childhood and all the terrible things that had happened. If it had just been different maybe this all would have never happened. There was a short period in time when I was happy as a child. My mom used to play with me and we would make cookies together. Then when I was about nine everything started to change. My dad started doing drugs, at first, he seemed happier and less stressed but the longer it went on the more anger and aggression began to rear its ugly head. Then shortly after that my mom got hooked and everything seemed to spiral out of control. When they would get high they would fight with each other and then they would turn their anger on me when they were over fighting with each other. First it was just emotional and verbal abuse. They would yell at me for hours then lock me in my room. They would tell me how worthless I was, how this was all my fault and if I had never been born they would be so much better off.  As traumatic as hearing those things coming from your parents was and being locked in you room but the one good thing being locked up meant was that I didn’t have to deal with them.

When I turned thirteen they started becoming more physical with me. At this point they were always drugged out or drunk and the house had become like a crack house. There were always several other people there who were always wasted on something. They never went to work and I was living off stuff that I had shoplifted from the grocery store. The guilt from stealing weighed heavy inside me but I knew if I didn’t I would probably starve to death; they sure didn’t care. Then they had caught me stealing and the police brought me to the house. I begged them not to leave me there but they did. That night was terrible and something I’d always remember. They beat me to a pulp that night, I couldn’t walk for two days without being in excruciating pain. The beatings continued, on a regular basis after that, usually when my dad was high or drunk. Then there was that one night that changed everything. Just thinking about it all made me break into a sweat and I could feel my body trembling. Quickly, trying to prevent a panic attack from taking over my body I began taking deep slow breaths and counting down from twenty-five. As much as I try to hide away all those memories they still find ways to seep back out and take control of me. Now all of this happened and I didn’t want to lose control like I did that one time. My fingers grazed over the white scar on the inside of my wrist. I tried my best to rid my head of all those thoughts and snuggled deep into my blankets.

Over the next several hours I faded in and out from sleep, my body now curled up under my warm comforter. By the time I decided to get up the sun had disappeared leaving the sky dark and speckled with stars. I had no clue what time it was but I would guess early hours of the morning. My mouth was dry leaving an awful taste every time I would swallow. Tugging my warm blanket around my shoulders I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. The cool liquid slid down my parched throat, relieving me of the discomfort. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted something slightly out of place. As I turned around slowly I spotted Liam laid out on our couch out cold. Shuffling across the carpet I couldn’t help but smile as I looked over his perfect face. He didn’t look like the peaceful sleeping man I had laid with before, instead his jaw was clinched and his eye brows drawn in giving him a distressed look.

Carefully, trying not to disturb him I pulled the blanket off my shoulders and climbed onto the couch; tugging the blanket up over our bodies. Almost like it was instinct his arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest. His deep voice whispered out, but I could hardly understand the words. Oh, he’s sleep talking – I thought to myself. I ran my fingers over his tense jawline, smiling to myself as his face seemed to soften at my touch. My hand slowly ran down his chest, almost like a magnet I couldn’t seem to break the connection between us. Even for just a moment I wanted to bask in the warmth he seemed to bring to the pit of my stomach. He made everything disappear from my head; I was no longer thinking about the horrible events that flooded my past, all my mind could focus on was him. As I laid there and watched him sleep I couldn’t help but feel calm and even a little happy. God, the way he washes all the bad things away by just being there. He has complete control over me, I thought as I ran my fingers through his hair. As I brought my hand up once more to run my fingers through his hair his eyes slowly opened, focusing in on me and our now closeness. “Hi…” I whispered, pulling my hand back away from his face. My bottom lip was now gripped tightly between my teeth as just stared at him. After a moment a small smile formed over his lips and his arms tightened around me even more. “Well hello…I must be dreaming…” He laughed softly, his fingertips tracing circles over my back. I could feel my teeth dig into my lip at the feeling of his fingertips. “W-why is that?” I mumbled trying to keep my body’s reaction to his touch under control. His hand moved painfully slowly around my body, cupping my cheek in his hand, my face leaned in to his touch as my eyes fell shut to let me fully enjoy his skin on mine. “Because only in dreams do I wake up to the most beautiful woman I know curled up with me on the couch.” His deep voice was so low it was almost a whisper as he spoke. Insecurity washed over me as his finger gently rubbed over the scrapes on my cheek. “I’m definitely not beautiful.” My lips dipped into a frown as I thought back to how badly I looked. He had even made me forget about my injuries! How could someone have so much power over me?

“Sam… You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I am so damn lucky to be here right now. Even though I am still pretty sure this is a dream.” He leaned in slowly, as if waiting for my reaction. Once he saw it okay he peppered soft kisses over the scratches on my cheeks. Shivers ran up my spine and goose bumps coated my body. He didn’t stop, instead he continued down my neck. “Beautiful…” kiss, “amazing…” kiss, “kind…” kiss. Each word followed by a kiss had my skin feel hot and a tingle growing in my belly. The way his lips felt against my skin felt like heaven, like my body craved his lips. My body pressed hard against his; wanting and needing his touch. He tugged the blanket up and over our heads with one swift move, his lips now inches from mine. “Sam…” He whispered, his deep voice like honey; and before I could respond his lips pressed gently to mine. This kiss wasn’t like our usual heated moments that were due to our primal attraction; this was very different, His lips molded to mine as he lovingly kissed me; breaking the kiss he gently rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. My heart was racing and that tingle deep inside was growing at an alarming rate. “Liam…” I whispered our lips brushing together as I spoke. The electric from just the lightest touch of his lips sent shocks through my whole body. He must have felt them two because in less than a second his lips were back on mine, they were still very gentle but needy too; almost like he needed me. A soft moan escaped my mouth and into his, causing him to pull away – his breath now heavy. “The things you do to me…” He whispered, his thumb gently rubbing over my cheek. “The things you do to me Mr. Maddox, you’re intoxicating…” My voice trailed off as my eyes met his. He gave me one last soft kiss before pulling me back to his chest and cuddling his firm body against me. “We need to talk about what happened at the beach house…. Not now but in the morning. I have a lot to admit to but I promise it isn’t what you thought what happening. I have messed up big time with you but I promise I will tell you the whole truth. But for now, you need rest and I need to enjoy the way it feels to have you back in my arms. I was miserable without you curled up in my arms when I sleep…” I swallowed hard and nodded as I tried to calm my now buzzing body. “Yes, in the morning.” I nodded before resting my head in the crook of his neck and peacefully drifting off to sleep.