Do Not Fucking Touch Me // Reddie

Thirty Three

(Richie's POV)

I was starting to get worried. I didn't want to give him any more space. I wanted to know what the fuck was going on. He sounded so upset yesterday. I couldn't stop hearing the words that he spoke to me, but it had to have been caused by something. He wouldn't be that upset over nothing. I know my Eddie. 

I called him again, punching in the numbers started to become natural for me because of how many times I had done it that morning and the night before. Nothing. I put down the phone and sighed. I wish he would just answer and let me talk to him. I knew one thing for sure and it was that if I was ever going to get him to change his mind about never wanting me in his life again, he needed to tell me why he felt that way. I needed to hear him say to me exactly his reason why he said those horrible words and shut me out. 

"The bus is practically here, Richie. You don't want to miss it," My mom said as I stabbed my fork at the waffles she made. I had cut them into tiny pieces and drowned them in syrup but I hadn't eaten a thing. I wasn't hungry. How could I be? All I could think of was Eddie. I didn't care that I was starving or that I had thrown up everything I'd eaten for three days straight. Eddie Kapsbrack was the one and only important thing on my mind. 

My mom put a hand comfortingly on my shoulder. "He might be there," she said, indicating school, "You guys can talk it out."

I pushed my plate away from me. 

"I hope so," I said and slid off the chair. I grabbed my backpack from where I'd rested it on the ground and swung it over my shoulder. I slid my arm into one of the straps and headed off. I didn't say another word or even pick up the lunch that my mom had packed for me that was by the door. I was going to win Eddie back if it was the last thing I'd do. 

I walked towards the bus as it slowed to a stop in front of my house and ran up the steps. I stood at the beginning of the walkway and scanned each row for Eddie. I didn't see him. The bus came from his direction and would have picked him up first, it always did, but he was nowhere to be found. Still, he could have gotten a ride from his uncle, and Eddie has never missed a day of school in his life, so I was sure I would find him in class. He probably made his way there early to avoid me or something. 

I sat at the back where him and I usually sat each morning and afternoon. As the winter began, we would draw each other hearts on the windows. The seat in front of our spot even had our names etched into it, courtesy of my pocketknife. He was so shocked when I did it. He gasped after I initially started writing E.K. in the leather. I laughed and told him it would be alright and we wouldn't get in trouble, but he still nervously looked around to see if anyone would tell the driver. They didn't, of course, because if they did I would just fight them. No one got in the way of me and Eddie being together. But now that we weren't together, now that he wasn't even speaking to me, the letters felt sour by just looking at them. I wanted to go back to that moment so badly, when Eddie, after overcoming his fear of being in trouble, looked at the E.K. + R.T. Forever and smiled. 

I wish that was true, what I had wrote. I wish we were together forever. Forever is a long time, but I could see myself in it with Eddie. The end of time would not even end my love for him. And I still loved him, even though he was clearly upset with me. Hope was all that I could hold onto now. 

I hoped that I would see him in class, first period, or even at lunch. Anything would be better than nothing. 

I walked into first period and sat in my usual spot. I was the first one in the classroom, and the teacher was alarmed. I was never so punctual. It was always Eddie who was in there first, gleaming up at me when I strolled through the door. But now, I was in his position. I tapped my foot on the ground in a twitching motion, my hyperactivity coming out to just add to how nervous I was. Kid after kid walked into the room, and took their places around me, but not him. Not Eddie. 

The bell rang and the seat he usually sat upright and smiling in was completely empty. It stood out, and kids all around me whispered about it. Our teacher took attendance and as soon as she hit the K's, she continuously looked up to check if her eyes were deceiving her and Eddie was in fact in the desk. 

"Kapsbrack," she finally said, and paused. Usually, if you didn't respond right away, she would mark you absent. She looked up and stared at the empty spot and looked me in the eye. 

"Has anyone seen Eddie?" she asked.

I looked around the room as she did and I was surrounded by heads shaking no. I sunk into the desk and laid my head straight down on the flat surface. I shut my eyes tight. 

'Please let him be okay,' I thought to myself.