Do Not Fucking Touch Me // Reddie

Forty Eight

(Eddie's POV)

I was waiting patiently by my mailbox as the mailman made his rounds. My uncle opened the door to our house and stared outside at me, sitting on the sidewalk. He sighed. 

"Eddie, I'm sure it just got lost in the mail."

I crossed my arms. "He's never missed a letter before," I said. It was true. Up until this point, it had been a whole month and a half of back and forth letters between Richie and I. He was improving a lot, but his last letter got me worried. He didn't feel well, and he was wondering if it was all worth it. The food increase had affected him greatly because his body was used to getting little to nothing. He was gaining weight, but he expressed his true feeling about that. I wrote him back right away and reminded him he would be perfect and loved by many no matter his size.

Then nothing. It had been three days since the last letter. Usually, I waited around two to get mine delivered and get a response. I got nothing. 

The mailman drove by our house without stopping. My heart sank. Why wasn't he writing back? Was he okay?

I was so concerned, it took over me. My uncle came and sat on the sidewalk with me and put an arm on my shoulder. He was the closest thing to a father I had, but he still didn't really understand me. 

"What if he's not okay?" I was beginning to hyperventilate. It felt like my whole world was crashing down on me. There's no way he forgot about me, is there? He couldn't have found someone new?

My uncle looked at me with empathy in his eyes. "Eddie, if I know one thing about Richie, it's that he loves you. He was the one who saved you when you tried to commit suicide, and he's the same one who was right outside the door in the hospital until you were conscious. He's where he is because he paid so much attention to you that he couldn't take care of himself. He's working on himself now, and he can't always give you attention, but that doesn't mean he loves you any less."

He got up and walked away, and I continued to stay in my spot, thinking. I missed him so much. I knew I was not deserving of all he had given me, and that I was selfish for wanting more, but I loved him. I wanted Richie back, no matter how selfish that was.