Deceiving Passion

Chapter 17: Marius's Amends

Enjolras's eyes and mine followed Eponine's out the window, and I had instantly wished that I hadn't. I pushed past both of them, and I ran outside in the direction of the alleyway. I could hear that Eponine and Enjolras had followed behind me, but that didn't matter to me. Nothing else mattered to me. I had to get to Cosette. I sprinted into the alley, and stopped dead in my tracks. I found Cosette down on the ground next to me. Her blonde hair splayed out against the ground, and her hands covering the place where she implanted the bullet in her chest. I couldn't form words. My mind was running too fast for me to catch up with it. I kneeled down beside her, and took one of her hands. I bit my lip, trying to hold back my tears, "Oh my God Cosette."

Cosette's crystal blue eyes were barely open as she looked up at. Her voice was faint, "I-I ruined everything..."

"No, Cosette," I picked her up slightly, and held her in my arms, "you didn't ruin anything. This is all my fault."

"W-why didn't you stop us? F-from what happened that night?"

I bit my lip. I was scared to tell her the truth. I was praying that Cosette would stay alive, and I didn't know what would happen between us if she did. I shrugged it off, "That doesn't matter now... We need to get you help.

"Marius," she seethed out in pain, "please... I don't want to. I can't live on here anymore... Please just let me go..."

I shook my head, "No... We need to get you he-"

"Marius," she pressed a finger to my lips, "please." I couldn't believe that she wanted this to happen. Cosette had normally been so bright and cheerful. She was the one that I would go to when I was sad. I remembered all the times that she had been there for me, and now she wanted me to be there for her. To be there to watch while she died. I didn't know if I could do that. She spoke up once more, "Marius... Just hold onto me before my time comes... That's all I need from you."

This was all my fault. Cosette would not wish to die if it weren't for me. I had to at least complete her final wish. I held her tightly against my chest, and she buried her head into my chest. I couldn't help but let the tears that had been forming in my eyes finally fall down as my head rested against hers again. I couldn't believe that this would be the last time that I would see Cosette again. There was so much more she had ahead of her. And I had begun to hope that maybe that future of hers could have included a life with her. 

She looked up at me one more time and cupped my face in her hands, somehow, she managed to sneak in a soft chuckle, "Hey... Don't cry for me. It's not worth it." This had only made me cry more. Because she was worth it. Every inch of her was worth it. Every word she uttered was worth it. Every smile she gave me, and every glance that made my heart stop. Everything about Cosette was worth  every crack that my heart was now experiencing. 

"Cosette..." I replied, "I am so sorry. I-I don't know what to say."

"Then make no sound," she answered, "you don't need to be sorry. Marius... Remember that thing I said to you that night?"

I remembered. Her words haunted me every night since that night. I nodded, "That you loved me?"

"There's no past tense Marius," she let out shake me, "I-I always loved you Marius... And I still do... And wherever you are... I always will..."

I gasped slightly at her words. They weren't simply a drunken slur? They were true? Cosette loved me? I couldn't believe it. I wanted to yell from the rooftops, and ring every bell in the town. I looked down at Cosette. Ready to kiss her passionately, and tell her that I loved her too. To tell her that she did not need to die now. To tell her we could be together. It would all be so wonderful.

But I couldn't.

Before I could say anything, Cosette's eyes drooped down, and her chest stopped pressing against mine when she took a breath. Because she had stopped breathing together. Her body was limp, and her face lifeless. 

That was it. She was gone.

Cosette was dead.

I could feel Eponine and Enjolras come to put there arms around me, but I pushed them away. All I could do was hold onto Cosette's body, and cry into her hair.

Cosette was gone.

And there was nothing I could do.