Deceiving Passion

Epilogue (Part 1): Cosette's Conclusion

My foot tapped nervously on th white ground that laid below me. After I had died, I had been placed in a white waiting room for what had felt like hours. The room was nothing but white. The room was a painted a bright shade of it, white tiles covered the floor, and all the furniture around me was all crisp white. I didn't know where I was or how I got there, but I was scared. I was absolutely horrified about what could happen to me. I had commited one of the most deadly sins by taking my own life... But I couldn't face it. I did not want to live in a world where Eponine and Enjolras hated me. I did not want to live in a world where my unborn child could not live with me. I couldn't live in a world where if Marius and I had ended up together we would have to endure all the hardships that those two problems had caused. He deserved so much better than that.

Was I in purgatory? From what I had learned about faith that was when you were in neither heaven nor hell. Honestly, I would have taken either one at this point. The isolation was killing me. I had to speak to someone. I couldn't be alone. I was tired of being alone. I had had enough of that on Earth. Just one person that was all I needed.

Soon enough, my prayer was answered. The door on the far end of the room had cracked open, and I heard footsteps walking towards me. The steps were clunky and heavy, but also familar. Another set a steps, this time almost light enough for me not to hear them had emerged. I did not look up to see who it was. After a while a strong set of familar arms had embraced me while a familar scent washed over me. I almost cried as I hugged my father back tightly, and he picked me up to spin me around. I looked up at him, his kind smile permeating onto me. He looked a lot less troubled than the last time I saw him. He seemed to be more free. I smiled up at him, "I've missed you so much Papa."

"I have missed you too." His voice echoed throughout the hall, "There is another person here who would like to say hello as well." I was confused for a moment. Then, behind him, a young woman emerged. She had golden hair that flowed past her shoulders, similar to mine, and she had kind crystal eyes. I walked up to her slowly, almost in disbelief at seeing the vaguely familar face. Was she an angel come to take me up to heaven. I don't remember how long it had taken me to realize it, but it soon hit me like a ton of bricks. My eyes widened, as I stuttered out, "M-mo-mother?"

She smiled at me, "Hello Cosette." I couldn't help but throw my arms around her after her greeting. It was really her. My mother. The mother i had dreamed of seeing ever since I was small. She was here. Right in front of me. My father soon joined in the hug, and that's how we stayed for quite some time. I never wanted it to end. 

Soon though, they had both pulled away, and sat me back down. Their happy faces had soon grown into faces of concern. My father put his hand upon my leg, "Cosette... Why did you do this?"

I looked down, "It's a really... Really long story."

"We've got all the time in the world," my mother replied, wrapping an arm around me. I took a deep breath, and began my tale. 

I told them about Marius's engagement to Eponine, and my relationship with Enjolras. I told them about what had happended that night, and my resulting pregnancy, with my father's hands balling into fists as I told him that part. I had then told then of my plan to make Enjolras believe the baby was his, again resulting with my father's balled fists becoming tighter. As I told them about my miscarriage, and the confrontation that had gone on in the hospital room, the story got harder for me to tell. My mother squeezed my hand gently, "You don't have to go on Cosette if you don't want to. We understand."

I bit my lip softly, and shook my head, "No... I need to get this out." They both looked at each other, then back at me, nodding their heads to tell me to proceed.

And so,I did:

*****

I remained on the ground where Enjolras had dropped me, watching as the altercation had become more and more intense. My mind could not focus on anything. I only heard Enjolras calling me a whore and Eponine calling me a bitch repeatedly. That was all I could hear. Even as their voices raised louder and louder, I could not hear what they were saying.

"You whore!" Enjolras's voice would ring in my ears.

"Y-YOU BITCH!" Eponine's hiss would cut through my brain. 

Then Marius's eyes. His eyes of despair as he found out Eponine had kissed Enjolras. All the looks that he had ever given me. They all swirled by me. I had had enough.

Everything that had happened, it was all my fault. If I had not loved Marius, he and Eponine would have lived happily. If I had been more commited in my relationship to Enjolras. He wouldn't have kissed Eponine. Every single action that everyone had taken had all added up to being my fault. It was all me. Marius could pretend that he had some blame, but it was all mine. I had to get out of here. Not just out the room, or out of the town. I had to cease to exist. That was the only possible way I could see things turning out alright for everyone else. I crawled to the other side of the room while everyone else was preoccupied, pulled the gun that I knew Enjolras had kept in his coat pocket, and left the room as fast as I possibly could. 

I ran out into the alleyway outside, breathing heavily as I held the gun in my head. I paced back and forth in the alleyway as I tried to talk myself into doing it. I was sobbing uncontrollably at this point, and slid down the side of the wall. What was I so afraid of. I figured no one would care, especially all I had put them through. I had nothing to lose. Before I had known it, the gun was against my chest, and the trigger had been pulled. It was done. I would soon be dead. 

The second my soul had escaped my body, the sight I had seen horrified me. My body was covered with blood as Marius held onto my body tightly. Even Enjolras and Eponine had started to cry. Marius though; he was a wreck. He was sobbing uncontrollably as I had been before, and his eyes were filled with desperation. He continued to hold onto my corpse, his body covered in my blood. I couldn't believe I was about to leave him like this. But I had to. I had made my choice. This was the repercussion.

*******

I sighed softly, noticing that I had started to cry as I told the story, "And that is what happened."

They both took me in their arms, and for the first time in a long while. I felt loved. I felt as though I was surrounded by people who truly cared about me. They continued to tell me how sorry they were that this had happened to me, and I shook my head. I looked up at them, "It's alright though, because now we can all be together now. We can be a family together. It will be wonderful.

They gave each other a look that made the smile on my face fade, "We are going to be together... Right?"