My Life, My struggles

Chapter 1

~A.N~ Hey, so this is totally not meant to be public but my friends told me to and I'm not good with descriptions so you just have to read it.. Also I wrote this on my iPod so I don't know how longs these probably are anyways here's chapter one.

Tomorrow is the big day I start my freshman year at high school a new beginning. new people, new teachers.. I'm excited but also I'm scared I'm only going to know my two best friends and they unfortunately won't be in any of my classes for the most part.

Oh I almost forgot let me introduce myself I'm Samantha Green, yeah like the color I know weird right anyways everyone calls me Sam. My favorite color is blue, I have two older brothers and a younger twin brother who is 10 minutes younger than me. I'm short for people my age which is 15. I have long light brown wavy hair and blue eyes and I have fairly tan skin. Alright I'm done boring you about myself back to my story.

~late that afternoon~

"Mom I'm going to the mall with Ryan" ( my twin)

"Okay don't be gone to long. Be back for dinner!" She yelled back

The mall isn't to far from our house so it was a quick drive. We parked and went inside. Inside we found Ryan's girlfriend Rose and my best friend Liz sitting at a table next to this cute cupcake store just talking and laughing so Ry walked up to Rose and wrapped his arms around her then kissed her cheek as I walked up to Liz. We hugged and then bid our goodbyes to the two lovebirds. There probably going to go take pictures in some photo booth then go to the arcade. I mean I'm down for that but I need new clothes for school and so does Liz our first stop is American eagle which happens to be Liz's favorite store.

I laugh as she almost knocks over a rack of necklaces as she isn't paying attention because she sees some hot guy. She's so easily distracted and is such a klutz. We don't really stay long we each got a couple shirts and I got a scarf and a pair of skinny jeans where as Liz got a necklace and some shorts.

The next store we go to is aero one of my favorite stores mostly because of the cute workers but anyways I go towards the back of the store where all the clearance items are and I find this really cute floral print skirt with a brown belt but I'm not sure it will fit so I go up to the registers to ask the worker for a dressing room.

"Um excuse me, can I get a dressing room?"

He turns around and smiles " no problem"

Man is he gorgeous he's tall and has blonde hair and golden eyes. I check his name tag 'rob' it read.

So I tried it on and then Liz told me she was ready to go so we checked out and when we were finished Rob wrote something on my receipt.

Liz instantly grabbed my receipt and read it once we left the store.

She says " oooo girl he wrote call me beautiful"!

I took the receipt and read it. I blushed because I never do well with compliments.

Liz's mom texted her to come home so we hugged and said goodbye.

Then I met Ry in the parking lot and we drove home.

We got home and my mom was in the kitchen making dinner and my brother Jake was helping it smelled amazing. Ryan went to hug mom and I hugged Jake. Then my mom told me I got a letter in the mail.

I took it up to my room to open it. Turns out it was from my oldest brother Jason who is over seas serving in the military. I miss him so much and that's why we write to each other. We used to be the closest of my brothers but as soon as he turned 18 he joined the army. You see he doesn't have the best relationship with my parents, so he wanted to get out of the house and he decided the army was a good choice so we try are best to stay close through letters and Skype but he hardly has time for those so it's been a challenge.

I just finished reading the letter as Ryan came and got me for dinner.

"Come on sis hop on"

He knelt down so u could get on his back. This was a thing every night before dinner Ry would carry me down to dinner.

I laugh as he runs down the stairs into the dinning room.

Like usual Jake laughs and my mom yells at us to be careful as Ryan almost trips over air he gets all the clumsiness in the family.

Finally he puts me down and we sit I sit next to Jake and Ryan, who was next to mom Who was next to dad and dad was next to Jake.

"Mhmm smells good mom what did you make?"

She says " actually your brother tried out the recipe I was just a helping hand"

Jake then says " It may smell good but don't say anything until you eat it"

We all sit silently and eat dinner. It was delicious, Jake isn't confident when it comes to his cooking hobby.

The silence at the table starts to become awkward so I decide to break it.

"Hey dad how was work?"

He finishes chewing then simply replies "good."

I don't really know what happens or was said but next thing I know my parents are arguing about who knows what. It starts to get really bad and Jake and Ryan grab my hands under the table. This isn't the first time they have gotten into an argument and we hold hands as a comforting thing.

I hate when they argue it scary sometimes I swear dad is going to hurt mom.

Things were getting worse so Jake stood up and put his hand on dad's shoulder , " dad calm down why don't you go take a walk" he said as calmly as he could but not calm enough dad shoved him away and stormed out of the house. I ran over to him to see if he was okay, he insisted he was fine so I helped him up. He was a little shaky standing so I helped him over to the couch. He was probably just shaken up dads never touched us before. Ryan took mom up stairs to get her to calm down since she was now in tears. He will get her to no problem since he's a big mommas boy. I got Jake to calm down and he decided to go up to his room and listen to music then go to bed.

I decided to watch a little tv before I went upstairs. As I was watching some action movie Ryan came down stairs and sat next to me.

" Mom fell asleep"

"Okay, Jake went to bed" I replied

" We should probably get some sleep since tomorrow's the big day"

I decided to be dramatic and lay down and act asleep and I whispered "Carry me?"

He laughs then picks me and brings me to my room as we pass Jake's room I hear him singing. He really doesn't know what a great guy he is and how talented he is also.

Ryan lays me on my bed and kisses me on the cheek goodnight then goes to his room.

I toss and turn for hours it about 2 a.m. And I've had enough so I decide to write Jason back.

~Dear Jason,

Hey big brother I miss you so much. Mom and dad had a huge fight again today and dad pushed Jake to the ground. It's times like these when I wish you were home to help protect me. Mom and Jake got pretty shaken up but I'm think there better. I'm writing this around 2 a.m. Because I can't sleep tomorrow is my first day in high school I'm scared I wish I had my big brother here to tell me it will be okay and give me a hug. You always did give the best ones shh haha don't tell Ryan :). Well I'm going to try and sleep again it doesn't help I'm worried about dad he's still not home yet.

Well I hope to see and hear from you soon.

Xoxo~Sam<3