My Life, My struggles

Chapter 16

(Sam's p.o.v.)
-Continuing Sam's from the previous chapter-

I wake up sore from still being on the couch, it's dark in the living room accept for the glow of Jake's laptop and a small lamp next to me. He notices me stretching and takes his headphones out, "How are you feeling?" The look of concern in his eyes is evident, "To be honest, I'm hurting, but I'll be okay." He isn't convinced but he nods, "I know how you feel, but I'm here now okay you can come to me whenever you need to, doesn't matter what time just wake me up, I don't want you to go through this alone like I did." Im crying a little bit again, I couldn't ask for a better brother. I go over and hug him tightly whispering, "Thank you." After I look at the clock it's about 8:00 so I decided to go up in my room and take a shower, so I grab some black, baggy sweat pants and a blue, long sleeve T-shirt to change into. I crank my iPod up so its blasting pandora, then I discard my clothes after the water has warmed up and I just left the water cascade down my body, listening to the melodies of music fill my ears. When Christina Perri's song "Human" comes on I sing quietly to myself. This song fits me, the chorus come on and I just let go not caring if anyone can hear me, as I look down at my bruised and scarred body and sing it with all I have,
"But I'm only human and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human and I crash and I break down. Your words in my head knives in my heart, you build me up and then I fall apart, 'Cause I'm only human.
I'm only human.
I'm only human.
Just a little human.

I can take so much.
'Til I've had enough..."
This song always makes me so emotional. I quick wash my hair, and scrub myself raw because I feel my fathers filth on me. Then hop out and throw my clothes on. Lastly, I dry my hair and go to my room. It's only 9:00 so I finish my homework quick. I take out my trig and work on the few problems and then I get a knock on my door. I say, "Come in!" Ryan peaks his head in, "Got a minute to talk?" I nod, "Sure what's up?" He walks in and sits on the edge of my bed I turn my desk chair so I'm facing him and wait for him to speak. He playing with his hands which tells me he's nervous of something. I start to worry, "Something wrong? You okay?" He looks up, "Actually I'm better than okay, Sam I'm two weeks clean." I smile, "That's great Ryan! I'm proud of you. Does it have anything to do with this Riley girl Jake has mentioned?" He blushes and looks down, "It has everything to do with her." He pauses, "I actually wanted your help, I was thinking about taking her out on a date and I want to pick the dress that she will be wearing because I don't want her stressing about what to wear." I smile that's so cute, "I'd love to help just find out a day and let me know." His smile widens, "Thanks sis, you're the best!" He hugs me and walks out laughing because I screamed after him, I know! I decide to ditch my last few problems for the night and go to bed its getting late.
~morning (friday)~
I wake up and decide what to wear. I decide I'm going to look nice today, so I pick out my mint green and navy stripped skater skirt and a white T-shirt and tuck it in. Then I pair this with my light brown heeled boots. Last but not least I curl my hair and do a light make up, then grab my bag and go downstairs. No one is home there's a note on the counter telling me where everyone is, I grab an apple from the bowl and go out to see Jess already waiting. I hope in and notice my Starbucks. "Jess you are amazing! Am I running late? How long have you been her?" She shakes her head, "Nope! You are just on time I just pulled up." I nod and she pulls away we hum along to the radio and then, Try by Colbie Caillat comes on and I absolutely love this song and her. I sing the words right on key,

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you. Do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you. Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing