The Love Experiement

Blood Letters

i take time to hold others hand
give them the love I have never known
take time to be patient
giving them something I myself am trying to learn
I wait for them to leave to cry my tears and release my pain
I attempt to hide from them the disappointments from the choices I have made
I write in hopes of someone learning from my words
finding some inspiration from the words written with the pen in my hand
though my mind at times forgets the hurtful words of others
the actions to break my back
my heart always opens to beat back the sting of their remembrance
it is true, at times I can still feel their soul
it seems I may be forever connected with them
I at times have to remind myself to keep it moving
an actions of a man do not lie
I am imperfect
I can hear God telling me I told you so….shaking his head
disappointed with the choices I have made
I've been waking up asking why did he even bother
does this make me weak
attempting to take the easy way out that death gives to me
I question it, yet I know this isn't the case
God has blessed me with gifts and talents
I am lost, torn, and broken
given much but none of it seems worth it
I have to remind myself to push my shoulders back
not to show the weight that seems to get heavier by the minute
to not allow my knees to buckle and my back to crack
I have to remind myself that because God made me, I am and will always be better than that
I am love cultivated from thorns from a rose bush