Kiss of Broken Glass || Kellic ✔

Dark Dreams

Title Credit: Dark Dreams by Blood on the Dance Floor

Gloria watches me as I get ready for bed. She has to. She has to make sure I don't try anything stupid. For an example, strangling myself with dental floss, drowning myself in the sink or wrapping the floss so tight around my arm it cuts into the skin.

Stupid stuff like that.

Once I get done brushing my teeth, I put my toothbrush down my the sink. Gloria tells me good night and I walk over to my bed. I lay down in the cold sheets, not even bothering to pull the blankets over myself. It's too hot in here.

I look out of the unbreakable window. I look back at Kellin who is already sleeping peacefully. He goes to bed really early. 7:30 to be exact. I wonder if he does anything really stupid late at night.

I watch the stars twinkle in the night sky. How I wish I could be out of here. I wish this never happened. I wish I never allowed myself to fall so deep into depression that I thought cutting would be the only way out.

All
I
Feel
Is
Regret.

I close my eyes and try to focus on something else. I sing a few song lyrics to myself silently. They're my own of course.

"I kissed the scars on her skin. I still think you're beautiful and I won't wanna lose my best friend. I screamed out: ‘God you vulture! Bring her back or take me with you!’"

Before I can finish the rest, I find myself asleep. Only 68 hours left of this hell hole.

~

I wake up in a field. All I see are shattered pieces. I see sadness and grey all around me. I hear my mother's crying, my father's scolding and the words Mike said to me:

"From this day on, neither of us will cut again. No more blades. No more burns. Promise?"

And lastly, my broken promise: "I promise."

I try to run away from it all, but it follows me. As I continue running, I get to the edge of a cliff. The words "do or die" flash through my mind. Looks like I'll die either way...

But, this seems a little quicker than the uncertain death ahead. I take a deep breath and inch closer to the cliff. I look over it and see nothing but black.

This is the end. The end of all my suffering. The end of the pain, the sadness and most of all, disappointing people.

With a deep breath, I jump off of the cliff. "I love you, Mike, mom and dad," I whisper as I near the ground. I hit the ground, everything snapping.

Goodbye agony.

~

I bolt upright in bed. I'm panting and sweating. ‘That was just a dream?’

That's the worst dream I've had in awhile. I've had multiple dreams of killing myself, but never any like this. My family has never been in them before. I guess I better mention this during a private therapy session.

I look over at Kellin and see him sitting upright as well. "Kellin?" I call out quietly.

"Yeah?" He replies.

"What are you doing up?" I ask.

"I could ask the same," he replies.

"Nightmare," I say, "now, what were you doing up?"

"I always wake up during the night. Just to think about life and sometimes write," he replies.

"What kind of writing?"

"Poetry/song lyrics, mainly. Like, I'm coming up with a song..." He replies.

"I wanna hear!" I say childishly, turning my body towards him.

"Okay," Kellin says and takes a deep breath, "Whoa, I want to paint down my memories, so I don't forget. Can we dance when it's cold outside? Can we live with no regret? So many people get caught up in everything they see. You can always trust what you believe. Sometimes I feel stuck, sometimes I get lost in so much hope I'm drowning. Would you save me a spark? We'll start a fire that shines a light in the dark, strike a match, make it last. We are all we need. Would you save me a spark? We'll light up the dark. We'll light up the dark."

"That was amazing!" I exclaim, "your voice is amazing!" "Nah," Kellin says. "Uh, ya!" I reply, "have you even heard yourself?"

"Yeah. I'm not the best ever, though," Kellin replies. "You are good, end of story," I smile. "Fine, but only because you said it," he replies. "I wanna hear you sing."

"Later, okay?" I ask. "Okay. Maybe at free time tomorrow?" He asks. "Yeah," I reply, "sure. I write my own songs, as well."

"Cool," Kellin says, "goodnight."

"Night."

Okay, I am going to love Kellin. His voice is angelic, he's beautiful and most of all, he's really kind.

I have a feeling we'll be great friends.

_______________________________________________________________________
I hope this is good so far. Bye.