Kiss of Broken Glass || Kellic ✔

Here's To Your Perfect Weapon

Title Credit: Perfect Weapon by Black Veil Brides

"So, what are some alternatives to self harm?" Martin asks. This again? I thought we covered this in the first meet.

"You could draw something," I say. Martin writes it on the board. He also writes, "go for a walk, take a bubble bath and talk to someone who cares." I just wonder if there is anyone I can talk to besides Kellin.

"Hug a puppy," CC says, "or scream, or throw fruit off of your roof, or write quotes or poetry." Martin quickly adds CC's suggestions. I never thought that guy could think of that many things.

"What about you, Jinxx?" Martin asks, looking the blue eyed boy in the eye. He looks terrified. "Got any suggestions?" Martin urges on. Jinxx quickly shakes his head, 'no.' CC then softly pats him on the back, probably trying to sooth him. Their relationship is incredible.

"How about you, Kellin?" Martin asks. Did Jinxx's nervousness not freak him out? "Watch Madagascar," Kellin replies, "or draw on yourself."

"Good, good," Martin says and adds those suggestions to the board, "anything else?"

"Get a job," CC says, "watch Dan and Phil, speak in a British accent, make up weird band names, watch Supernatural or eat ice cream!" "Don't forget eating chocolate, riding horses and learning French," Kellin adds. Martin adds the suggestions and I sigh due to Kellin's behavior.

‘Wow, for someone that self harmed, he sure has a lot of alternatives. Did he cut for popularity? Like I once thought before?’

"You could sleep," I say. Martin gives me a questioning look but writes it down. "Now, I have some suggestions," he says. Well, damn. Here comes his 'therapist time.'

"Remove all dangerous or triggering objects from your life," he says, "like, sharp weapons, people, pencil sharpeners or music. Whatever triggers you, get it out of your life. Let's all share what triggers us, shall we? Vic, you first."

I give him an unsure look. Wouldn't telling our triggers make everything worse? I mean, it's getting it off of our chest and telling someone but it could also remind us of a terrible relapse/memory.

"Uh, what triggers me is seeing fresh scars and talking about scars," I say. Then, CC stands up, "Knives. I mean, I never self harmed, but I thought of it. Knives just made me go insane. Just seeing them would make me freak out," he explains.

Kellin finally stands, "Well, talking about it or reading about it happening used to set me off. Now, nothing bothers me. I've gone a year without a single relapse."

"That's great!" Martin cheers, "now, Jinxx, wanna say anything?" Jinxx shakes his head. He looks just as scared as last time. This has to be hard for CC to watch.

"Okay, that's fine. Wasn't that great?" Martin asks, "we got everything off of our chests. We have some things to celebrate now!"

"Bullshit," I hear Kellin whisper under his breath. He's been hearing all of this for about a year, now. I'm pretty sure it's gotten old.
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I have something to admit: knives trigger me really bad. Just seeing them or hearing them hit something drives me nuts!

And, sadly, I've given into self destruction/mutilation. I started cutting...

But, good thing this chapter was written months ago! I am now 2 months clean. :)