Fucking Black Love (Marilyn Manson Fan-Fic)

The Shrink

//Victoria's p.o.v.://

Yesterday it was very nice Brian helped me with the killer. The killer was my biggest fear. He was scary and chases me. I can feel it. But at the moment the killer wasn't there. I feel it and I know it. Brian helped me with this little trick and his encouragement. I looked at the ceiling and thought of something. In a way I was happy my parents didn't visit me. I don't need to hear their voice today. But today is a shit day too. Brian or Jeordie can't come to me and I flout of my other friends. The only things they want are toking, fucking asses and/or cocks. And...well I am a little toker but not a bitch. I heard someone knocked on the door. "Come in." I said. Doctors and another woman came in. What do they want from me else? They know I am a psycho and I take pills. "Victoria, we want to introduce you Dr. Stephanie Hawkman. She is your clinical psychologist now and helps you with your tantrums." "Hello Victoria." She had a nice voice. "Hi..." I said. Cool, now I have a shrink either. She had a sit on the edge of my bed:"I performed we get to know each other and then we'll drive to a mental institution for 4 weeks." "Why so long?" I asked. "We analyse your disease and then what the trigger is and how we can stop that." She answered. "Can my friends visit me?" I asked again because it would be a very bad nightmare if they couldn't. "No. In this time you shouldn't have contact with your friends. I mean, of course you'll go to school but we'll always there to analyse your reactions. And for that - no contact with friends, okay?" She is jerking me around. That's totally bullshit!! "But...my friends will go to me and they'll embrace me and such like that! I can't push them away!" I was a bit angry. The shrink noticed something. "What do you do there?!" I asked very angrily. "I notice your reaction..." Dr. Hawkman was very concentrated. "Why?!" I asked again. She didn't answered. "Answer me!" I became angrier. She looked at me:"Are you always aggressive when something happens that you don't want?" "What do you mean with that?!" I asked a third time. "...not realizing of aggressions...." She mumbled. I looked at her. What does she mean with that? I am not aggressive...only angry. Then she looked at me:"That was a test." I was confused. Why tests? "That was an example for analysing your reactions." She said. "Can you stop it?" She was getting on my nerves. From now on I hate shrinks. "Oh dear that's impossible." She smiled. I totally hate it when someone calls me 'dear' or 'honey' or something else. And I am not her daughter or her girlfriend. She is my enemy now. "Don't call me 'dear' again, clear?" I was so angry and.... I CAN'T BELIEVE MY FRIENDS CAN'T VISIT ME!!! Now I hate myself. But well...I knew I am dumb so... "It IS possible. But I am your prisoner, ain't I? You only want I am your slave...." , I said. Again she noticed something. "STOP WRITING!!!" I screamed. "Okay...." She put the pencil on my table. "Today I don't wanna hear anything, okay?" I said very angrily. "Are you always like that?" Dr.Hawkman asked me. "No..." I said. "And why now?" She asked. "My best friend can't visit me today..." I answered and looked out of the window. The only thing I want is Brian now.... He understands me,he can help me and... I only want he is here. "Tell me something about your best friend." Dr Hawkman said. "Well....he is like me. He is strange, cool, nice.... I know him since approximately 2 weeks..." Now I have the feeling that I really miss him. But I don't know why because...he isn't far away. "Is he only your best friend or...more?" Why does she ask that? She isn't my mum. "Only my friend..." I said. "I think he's more than a friend." She is getting on my nerves. Why can't she shut her mouth? "Cool.." I said thinking. "You want to go to him, don't you?" She asked caring. "The only thing I want is that he is here and...that everything is normal and not like this..." I said. "But think about that: After you were in the medical center everything will be better." It was very nice she wants to encourage me but...that doesn't help at the moment. "You only think that..." I stared to  heaven. "What's your problem? Why do you think the opposite?" She asked. "Nothing helps...I am a problem, my parents are a problem... everything is a problem." I said. "Okay...uhm...but what would Brian say if you told him that what you told me? Would he only says 'okay'?" She's right. Brian would say I should do that damn shit. Or he would say... I don't know what would say... I can't think clearly at the moment. "I don't know..." I said thinking. "I don't think he would say 'okay'. Victoria....I have the feeling that you love him....and think about: He loves you and you loves him and...what would happen to Brian if something happened with you? I think he wouldn't be happy or something else." I said nothing. "Victoria... I know it will be hard but... let's say we do it for Brian. We do it for all you friends okay?" Wow... That was the first thing that was not strange. But the idea was good. I must confess she's very nice. "Okay...for Brian." I said. We smiled. "So Victoria... What do you want to do now?" She asked. Wow... She is like a friend to me - strange but cool. "I wanna play music with my guitar y'know. I wrote some notes on a sheet of paper and for me it's like music from Kiss or David Bowie." I said. "Shall I bring you your guitar?" She smiled. "Would be cool." I said. She went away. Hmm... In a way shrinks are nice. But...there are some things I don't like. They want to go into you...like a virus...

*SKIPPING TIME*

The shrink came with my guitar and sheets. Yes! I took my guitar and one sheet and then I began to play. "That's very good." The shrink said. "Thanks." I played another song. "Can you play other instruments too?" She asked. "Yes... Drum, Saxophone and Piano." I answered. "Wow...you are really talented." She said. "I know." She doesn't need to comment everything. I know my talents.  But well, she's a shrink so I don't care about that.