Fucking Black Love (Marilyn Manson Fan-Fic)

The Collapse

//VIctoria's p.o.v.://

I went to the hospital to my beloved boyfriend. I am so happy he's awake since approximately a week. I thought I would lose him but I didn't. I am more than happy about that. I can't describe it.
After he woked up I visited him every day. Now that I know about his aneurysm I'm gonna care much more about him. Every second is important. And well... In some nights... We did it in the hospital. Anyway it was cool to fuck somebody there. But we didn't make big things like before because of Brian's health and the others shouldn't hear because they don't know I was there. And if the had hear us it would be a bit embarrassing. But the good thing Brian doesn't always need to stay in his bed so I can go outside with him (with outside I mean the garden in front of the hospital).
And every day we were outside. We walked through the yard and talked about some things. But about normal things. About the 'rules' we made for each other, about some good old things...actually about everything. But at the moment we didn't talk about something. I sat on his lap and we tashed on. With his hands he grabbed my ass and pulled me close. I digged my fingers into his back. Then Brian kissed my neck and I felt he made me hickeys. This time it hurt a bit. Like he would bite me. I don't really like that. I pushed him a bit away:"And what are we doing later?" At the moment I didn't want he makes me hickeys because I have the feeling my neck looks like a half eaten steak. "Well, I don't know. Again we could go outside for a while and then...I think you know what." Brian smiled a bit. "Is sex your hobby?" I asked giggling. "Yes but only with you, babe." He meant and kissed me again. I smiled shortly:"So...shall we go outside?" "Yes." Brian said and stood up with me. But he lurched. I had a bad feeling when I saw that:"Everything okay?" I geld him very tight on his arm and I pulled him close to me because he nearly fell in his bed. It looked like he had a... A 'fake - collaps'. "Yes yes. Only my head swims." He pressed his hands against his head a bit. Now I have a very veey bad feeling. "Shall we stay here and I search for a doctor?" I asked while I went to the door. "No! I am fine so you don't need to bring a doctor to me. We can go outside now." Brian said. "Uhm...okay..." But I was not quite sure whether I was the right thing what we did. Brian was very pale. He and he went like zombie. He had 'red' eyes like he drank to much alcohol or smoked too much weed. Something is wrong but he wouldn't hear at me. I know it so we quietly went to the garden.

//Brian's p.o.v.://

I had the feeling my head would explode. I had the feeling I could collapse every minute. I had the feeling I would become blind. I don't know what's up with me. I can't really walk. My legs feel like they aren't a part of my body. And I feel like I don't have power anymore. What the fuck is going on with me?! I have the feeling I could die every minute. Maybe I die slowly now... But anyway it's positive because then I don't need to see this fucking world anymore. But of course it's more negative because then I'll lose Victoria. And I wanna die with her together. Suddenly I remembered the ring I bought for her. The ring for...the special moment. The ring that could change everything. With it she will be mine forever. But now it's not the right moment. I must stick it out util it's the right moment.
We were outside. The fresh air was good but my head swims more and more. I saw very blurred Victoria looked at me:"Is really everything with you? You loo...-" The rest I didn't understand. What happens with me?!! "Can you repeat that?" I asked. I got a fucking bad headache and my legs began to shake. I became very cold. What the fuck? Am I going to die now or what?! I am fucking 19!! I am too young for that. "Brian sorry but now I'm going to search for a doctor. You look like a corspe and I see your conditions are very bad now." She meant. "No you don't I am fine!!" I meant again. It's only a hallucination. I am not a half corpse. I am fine. "No you a...-" In this moment I had the evidence I wasn't fine. I collapsed. I only saw black. I couldn't feel my arms or my legs or my fingers. And I didn't know whether I breathe. I had the feeling I was dead. I think this was the end of my life now. And all that happened in front of Victoria. That horrible!! But now I can't change things anymore. Now it's too late.

//Victoria's p.o.v.://

NO!!! That's not true!! God or Satan or whoever can't do that to me!! Brian mustn't die!!! Not now!!! I cried for help. I cried for nurses. I cried for anyone who was in the garden. This was the day where I cried the most in my life. When I saw Brian collapsed in front of me. Now I lose him forever. I can't take him back. Never again.
Some nurses and doctors brought him to a room very fast and tried to resuscitate him. I hope it works!!
"Victoria? What has happened?!" Brian's mum sounded very upset and caring. But I didn't turn around. I couldn't look at them. I don't want they see me that I cry. Brian's father layed his hand on my shoulder:"Victoria, please tell. What has happened to Brian?" He was calm but I know he is shocked. "He will die... When we went outside he was pale... His eyes were red and...he looked and walked like a zombie... All the time I asked whether he wants a doctor but he always meant he is fine. And when it was too much for me he collapsed... Everything is my fault..." I had the feeling I cried even harder. I DON'T WANNA LOSE BRIAN!!! His parents embraced me but I heard his mother began to cry. But I think his father did it too.
A few minutes ago the doctor cane to us. Everything was very quiet. "You are the family of Brian, right?" the doctor asked us. We only nod. "Well uhm...I mean...he is awake but his conditions are very bad. And I don't this he would survive it. I mean we could do something but it wouldn't help." The doctor meant. "Can we go to him? One last time?" Brian's mother asked. "Of course." We went with him to Brian.
When I saw Brian I was more than shocked. And there was this 'beep'-thing again - but much slower. And he was...he wasn't pale, he was white. And he was hard-worn again. So this was the final moment...where I lose Brian forever. "Do you wanna go first, Victoria?" His father asked me. "No you can go." I meant. His mother only smiled at me and went with his father to him. "Mum? Dad?" Brian breathed very laboredly. "Yes?" His mum asked while her eyes were full of tears. "Promise me you take care for Victoria. That nothing happens..." When he said that I was speechless. I can't believe that... I can't he said that on his 'obit'. "We'll promise." His father said. "Thank you..." he coughed "And now...I wanna talk with Victoria...alone please." Brian breathed slower and slower. Again I got tears in my eyes. His parents nod and went outside. I went to him. Some tears fell from my cheek when I sat on the edge of his bed:"I don't wanna lose you..." "Babe, the best thing is: let me go. You know my conditions won't be better. But please don't cry. I don't wanna die sad." He stroke my tears away. "But I can't be happy without you. I need you. You know that." I meant. "And I need you but...please...stay strong. I am always in your heart..." Brian kissed me. While that another tear fell down from my cheek. "And please...promise me you won't be sad. Only think about the good things which happened to us." He said. "And which things will I have as a memory? Only photos and the things you gave me?" I had the feeling I began to cry again. "No...you have your thoughts and your experiences." Brian said. "And what if I'll forget you? Or if I'll forget some things?" I asked upset. "You won't...trust me." Brian kissed me again. When I wanted to reciprocated the kiss I heard the 'beep'-thing made only tone. Oh my god... He died when we kissed us... I began to cry very hard. THAT CAN'T END LIKE THIS!!! I took his hand:"I promise you I'll never forget you... You were the best thing in my life... Thank you for everything..." I went out of the room. My eyes full of tears. I ignored everyone around me. His parents, the nurses... Everyone. I only wanna be alone.