Fucking Black Love (Marilyn Manson Fan-Fic)

Victoria's Diary

My little secret Diary:

*Week 1:*

Settling in this medical center was very hard. The other psychos were okay but...I miss Brian very much and...everyone is very odd. That's not normal anymore. I mean, okay, I am strange but they are much stranger. And  everyday  I must carry out tests with my brain and my body for 'the room'. I must confess I am a bit scared because I don't know what 'the room'  is. I think it's a very dark room with many machines and such like that. In a way I want to make plan  to escape out of this building. I feel like a prisoner. They are cruel, they haven't any feelings!  The only good thing is I found a few crazy friends. They are in a way like me. The good thing is they will help me with the plan (if I make a plan). And they all know how I feel. Cathy is engaged and her betrothed is a soldier and...he is in action. He could die every moment. Bradley has only his mother. And his mother deathly ill. Everything is so cruel and that makes me sad. And I don't know or I can't understand why Stephanie became different when we drove to this medical center. Maybe she is extorted from someone (I know it sounds odd). Shit! Someone knocks on my door. I must stop writing. My last wish: Dear diary, save Brian from everything and help me to come out of this hell!!!!!

*Week 2:*

Diary!!!!! 'The room' is so worse!! It's a room without anything. There is only another room and the doctors play strange music and then they....they torture me!!! They do everything what strains me!!!! I screamed for help but they went on. It was so horrible. The whole time I am crying. I can't stand it any longer. It's too much for me. I want to go to Brian! I need him! NOW!!! He is the only one who can help me now! He should embrace me!!! He should stay with me here like in the hospital. And all the other days I must go to 'the room'. That's too much for me!! I am destroyed. I feel soulless. I feel dead. I want to be dead. And I heard I will do other things. I am so scared. I...I... can't find any words. I need my parents!!! But Brian more!!! Brian!!! Please help me now!! Make me happy!!! Be mine!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! DID YOU HEAR ME?!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! Everyday I tremble when I must go to some rooms. In some rooms are machines and in other rooms there is medicine. It's like the worst nightmare I've ever had. I wanna die now. The death is better than everything. But then I leave Brian alone and I can't do that...not a second time. Well then...I try to do everything what they want. Without crying. Without screaming. I think it's the best.

My with for this week: GUARD ME AGAINST EVERYTHING!!!!

*Week 3:*

I am so glad I only must be here for 1 week. I didn't sleep 1 week because I am terrified of this shit. Every night I felt the killer is there. Every night I was scared he could kill me. Brian's trick was hopeless. He was too strong. His courage become stronger every minute. He follows me. I can see him when I am in the room. I can see him everywhere. I can hear his voice. He always says that I must come to him. I should be his slave. He wants to rape me, too. He wants I am like him. But I don't want that. I must defeat myself against him. But I can do it. He isn't real. It's only a motherfucking hallucination. He can't kill me.
Now I must think of Brian. Soon I will see him. I am so happy. And then I will tell him that I love him. Now I really feel it. I feel I need him, I feel he is the only one I need. He is in my heart. He has the key from my heart. But the good thing is I am not so much terrified of the room and the machines anymore. I mean they are bad and the room is worse but...when I think of Brian I am not so scared anymore. He helps me anyway. He is like my guardian's angel. That's good. I think Satan wanted that Brian is my guardian's angel. Satan is cool, nice... Satan like me :) and I like him. But I think Satan guarded me, too. He would definitely do it. I know that. He can be like a good friend but he also can be worse. But it doesn't care. He is better than God. Everything is better than God. Oh...someone knocks on my door. I must stop writing.
My wish for this week: Making Brian happy and proud of me that I did it.

*Week 4:*

My last week!! On Sunday I can go home! I am so happy. And then I can hang out with Brian again. I can stay with him forever. I missed him so much. I can't believe that. I am so excited. I can see my love and my best friend after such a long time. I think he'll be happy, too. I know it because of his reactions when he sees me. His eyes are shining like the sun and he always smiles. His smile is so sweet. When I think of it I must smile, too. Brian is my love of my life. I must go to him - now! I want he embraces me. I want to laugh with him. I want... everything. My love become bigger to him. I must always smile when I think that I will see him soon. I am so in love with him. I don't care about everything - I only want him. Now!! Now, now, now, now, now!! I don't want anything else. He is my all and one. My everything. My life. My universe.... Brian is beautiful...he is perfect... He is my dream boy. I don't care about his make up... I don't care whether he was a toker or not...I only love him. His character is perfect...like his hair xD. I love his long black hair.
But I will miss my psycho friends here. They were very nice. They helped where they could. I hope I will see them again. That's a very big wish from me. They are better than my toker friends. Cathy and Bradley understood me and didn't want to have sex with every girl or every boy who walks on the street. But now I wanna sleep. I am a bit tired y'know.

Dear diary: My last week has begun here so I only wish everything will be okay. I wish everything will be fine and I wish the best for my friends. :)