LOST SOULS ✰ CAPTAIN SWAN ✅

Chapter 15 ✰ The Hardest Part

Just over a week later

Emma woke up. She stared at the ceiling of the bedroom she used to share with Killian. She felt heartbroken. The truth is nothing has broken, otherwise she had been dead by now. She had simply detached herself from the world she thought she knew. Even though her heart wasn't really broken, she felt the soul-crushing pain like she's been broken somewhere on the inside. And it hurts. It really hurts.

She rolled over to his side of the bed. Her heart immediately sunk when she rolled over. Her skin doesn't brushed up against his. She sighed. She pictured his tired eyes looking up at her and she felt his whispers rolling off his tongue. Emma shook her head which made the vision of cuddling up in his arms blurring back into an empty side of the bed. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Emma sat down on the bed. She sighed again. She thought about all the people who said 'you don't know what you've got, till it's gone'. It always sounded like a cliche. How can you not know what you've got? Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it.

She pulled herself together. No matter how badly she wanted to lay in bed all day, she couldn't do it. She sighed again, stood up and dressed herself in a comfy outfit. She went downstairs. At first she had hoped that Killian would be there on the couch, but of course he wasn't. She glanced around, searching the room for Henry. Then she realized he was with Neal and wouldn't be back before dinner.

She decided to go to Granny's. She was craving for a grilled cheese and onion rings. Thinking about that almost made her cry again. She used to do that with Killian once a week or he took it for her. Emma grabbed her phone and called her parents to join her. She couldn't stay at home forever.

About an hour later she went to Granny's. She enjoyed the winter sunshine on her face. It was still freezing, but the sun made her feel a bit alive again. Emma entered Granny's and closed the door. When she went to turn, she bumped into a body and turned to apologize. 'I'm so sorry...' she started. She looked up and saw his face. 'Killian?' she murmured happily. He smiled and she felt his familiar warmth. It gave her the chills.

'Are you okay?' he asked. Emma nodded but felt tears welling op into her eyes. 'No, you're not' he said worried. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore. They spilled out and moistened her cheeks. Seeing him made her realize that she hated herself and her life in every possible way. She felt his thumb rubbing her cheek. 'Tell me, love' his voice sounded warm and loving. 'I... I just miss you, that's all' she stuttered.

He smiled again but she could still feel the distance between them. 'I miss you too... I miss you terribly... but to be honest, It's really hard for me to deal with the pain. I don't think I can do this already.' Emma tried to force a smile on her face. 'I... My parents are waiting for me. I guess I'll see you around' she said as she walked away from him.

Emma hadn't told her parents about what happened between her and Killian. She couldn't bear to talk about it. Off course, her mom noticed there was something wrong with her. She explained what happened between her and Neal and what Killian said to her. 'He has to be in so much pain' Snow said. David looked at her and gave her an angry look. 'Emma, you're too hard on yourself. What you did was wrong, but if you love Hook you should fight for him. Prove him that he can trust you.'

'I don't know how, dad. He is so stubborn and he doesn't want to see me right now.' David took her hand. 'Give him the time he needs but be there for him when he needs you. The hardest part is letting go and we both know that, especially he, can't do that so easily'. Emma smiled. She talked a long time with her parents, which made her feel better.

When Emma got home, she took a shower to wash off the day. She took a glass of water and made the bedroom dark. She lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. She noticed the silence and noticed her heart was still beating. It was still fighting. She smiled. You made it, Emma. You made it, another day and you can make it one more. I'm going to be fine...