Welcome to L.A.

What you've been waiting for (Unedited)

I can't believe what I just heard. I can't.

"You want me to what?!" I say shocked and breathless. That's probably the surprise they planned.

"I want you to travel around the world with me."

"So I can be your lovely girlfriend watching you feet away every night and looking pretty in front of everyone? No thanks. I'll already look dumb with that leash in hand all the time. What can I do? I know that you think I'm wrong, but..." It's so much harder to keep inside than it looks... "I can't do anything, I can't read, I can't walk... Hours ago, I couldn't even kiss you or hug anyone properly... What do you all want from me?! What I wanted to scream to the world since it happened is that I feel ashamed. I am. Ashamed of myself. Because I didn't deserve to live more than Thea, okay?! I didn't ask to lose James nor Sally and Serena either. Can anyone understand how it really feels to wake up a month after your birthday without your sight and half of the friends you hardly earned away from everyone else? I became myself for a reason and I'm glad I am. I deserved to meet you and I deserve every good things that'll happen in the near or further future. I've been working hard enough for that. But look into my eyes and tell me you understand that my life wasn't worth saving more than theirs. They all were worth saving... They all were worth being saved and I can't enjoy all this without thinking that it could have been someone else. Nothing you'll do will get this weight off my back until the world gives them what they all deserve." Everyone was silently staring at me. Everyone. Dan sighted slowly and is waiting after he put my head on his chest while it all vanishes in the air.

"I do. I do understand that. But know that the best way to make them proud is to live your life at 100% like they all would have wanted you to."

"I knew that you would bring that up one way or another, but I don't know how I can do that."

"By believing that you can. Every day. Every day you'll have to hang on and hope to see again. You just don't have to do it alone."

"And, by that, you mean?"

"I mean that I'll believe in you and think of you everywhere you'll go and I' promising you that I'lll do my best to help you feeling better nomatter where I am in the world. I just don't want to be away from you that's all..."

"Why not? If I go to Cambridge, I..."

"When you'll go to Cambridge."

"Yeah, well, we'll be far apart. Why not getting used to it now?"

"Aren't you the open minded girl who always wants to discover any new culture possible?"

"I am, but..."

"But you're afraid to face your new difficulty while doing what you like the most."

I might have lost my sight, but I'm still an opened book. He knows that he's right and I won't try to prove he's not. I just don't want to hold him back.

"You'll never hold anuone back. You'll always get to your goals. You've been noticed. Around the world. Isn't it fair to meet the ones who want to share things with you?"

"Share what?"

"I don't know... thoughts, memories, projects..."

"Projects?"

"Yeah... but you don't want to follow me anyway, so you won't change tour mind."

"Wait! I've never said that!" He takes me in his arms in laughter. Holding me tight, he's pushesing away all the deamons I had. "I just thought that..."

"I'm not a musician, Aim, I'm a YouTuber. I know that you think that artists around the world disrespect their loved one, but I'm not like that. The world has changed. For the worst, but also for the best. Besides..."