Idiot Chat ➳ m.c

Invisible

»Ashlee«

"Just me and my shadow and all of my regrets."

I woke up to hear the lack of sound the bus was making. Calum tugged on my blanket. I rolled over and blinked down at him from my bunk. He didn't look happy. He didn't need to say anything as I grabbed some clothes and rushed into the bathroom to change into them. When I got out he was still there waiting for me. He wouldn't make eye contact, he just stood there with his arms limp by his side. He was wearing this oversized coat, making him look really small.

He looked worn. Dark shadows accompanied his doe brown eyes which stared at me sadly. His lips weren't in their usual state of smiling and instead were turned down in the corners. I'd never seen him so miserable in his whole life. All I could do was try and be there for him and help him as much as he's helped me. He held out his hand for me as we left the bus. The bus driver mumbled something about stopping for an hour to stock up on food and fuel. His name was Frank and he always played soft classical music over the speakers before bedtime.

Stepping off the bus the fresh air washed over me, making me feel calmer. I could hear the sound of the ocean nearby and smell the salt in the air. Calum and I walked quietly, not talking, just holding hands and watching the seagulls fly above us. The sky was overcast, creating a dreary mood. Calum's fingers twitched in mine, reminding me that he was there as my thoughts wandered. I looked down at our hands, there wasn't anything there besides comfort. I knew he didn't want to be alone. Hell, if I had to go back to Australia I wouldn't be able to handle the distance between me and Michael. I didn't know how I'd handle it next year with my plans and possibly moving.

We reached a convenience store where Calum headed straight for the candy isle. He grabbed a few large bags of mixed lollies in his left hand, keeping his right hand connected with mine. I picked out two pies from the bakery section of the store before going to the counter to pay for it all. Calum disappeared for a moment then came back with some bourbon. I blinked at the drink for a moment before paying for it too. We left the store and walked down the path towards the ocean. Calum ate his pie as we walked, the crumbs making a trail behind us. I carried the shopping bags before deciding to take a seat on the sea wall.

I swung my legs over the wall and got comfortable as the ocean lapped the sand below us. I pulled my pie out from the bag and began to eat it as Calum settled in next to me. We sat there, staring out at the ocean as we ate our pies quietly. Once I was down to my last piece of crust I threw it down onto the sand. The seagulls squarked and squabbled over it, in the end a young bird managed to fly off with a good chunk of the crust.

Calum intwined our fingers once more as he'd finished his pie. "Thank you," he mumbled quietly. His eyes focused on the horizon and never left it as he began to speak. "I got her pregnant." I was taken aback for a mere moment as his words settled in. "That's why Beth had to go home." I gripped onto his fingers tighter, he squeezed back with just as much force.

"You're going to be a father then?" I smiled at him as softly as I could, trying to turn the situation into something good.

He nodded, the corners of his mouth creasing upwards by a smidge. "Although I won't be much of a father. Beth thinks I'm too immature and she doesn't want me around. We were fighting a lot before she left. She was right, I shouldn't have got her pregnant in the first place." He started to tear up, causing me to panic.

"Hey, no. It wasn't your fault, how were you supposed to know she'd get pregnant?" I tried to comfort him but I could tell it wasn't working. Calum's eyes started to well up even more as he blinked at the horizon. He was trying to fight the tears back. I let go of his hand and shuffled closer to him, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders. We sat there in silence for a good ten minutes before having to move back to the bus.