Idiot Chat ➳ m.c

Beside You

»Ashlee«

"I'm trying to find the words to say."

It was as if my proclamation of love set everything back to how it was before. There were no problems with us anymore. It was as if those three words had made everything right again. They were genuine too. It had been a long time building up to that moment and when I acted impulsively on my feelings it came out. I had no time to think, to filter my feelings. It was as raw as I'd ever been. It was the best thing I'd ever done for myself and for Michael.

We got back on the bus soon after that. It was pretty late by the time we'd set off. Michael had forgiven Calum quite easily as he'd explained his plan more in depth. The boy was a genius, he had us both fooled. He made me see my true feelings for Michael that I'd tried to push away. The bus was rocking slightly as we made our way down the coast. A window was open as it was pretty hot. The cool air whistled as it rushed in the open window, the faint sound of crashing waves was barely audible.

I was sitting in the lounge area with Ashton and Michael. We were studying and trying to keep up with our homework. Ashton was studying for his final tests that he had to take when he returned home in three weeks time. I had convinced Michael to study with me as his grades were still pretty low from not going to school that often. At the end of the year there'd be a big dance in the school's gymnasium after the year twelves graduation. You'd have to at least get a C- on your final mark to be able to go.

Last year I went with Aaron but he ditched me for his friends so I ended up dancing alone. Michael had never been but he said this would be his last year of school if the band really did blow up. He'd always hated that place and said if he was given the chance he would drop out immediately. This was his chance. Although if that happened I would still have to go to school and then uni while he was out conquering the world. Suddenly, not being able to have children was the least of my worries.

My hands went weak at the thought, dropping my pen to the paper I found my throat was dry. It tightened at the thought. It felt like it was choking but I knew I couldn't be. A pounding headache came on sharply, attacking my brain with pain. I stood up quickly, stumbling as I hastily made my way downstairs. I tripped over the carpet edge as I walked to the kitchen, I regained composure and tried to calm down my mind. The thoughts were more agitated now, whirling around and becoming more malicious. I thought about living without Michael and the pure hell it was just being away from him for a few weeks.

I thought about the distance that would be between us and the loneliness I would have to face without him. I pulled a glass out from the cupboard and filled it with water at the sink. I thought my headache was due to lack of water. However as I downed four more cups of water I knew that wasn't the case. I felt a warm presence behind me as I took deep breaths. Hands rested themselves on my hips, rubbing circles into the skin. It calmed me a little, but the headache didn't cease.

Michael's breath fanned against my neck as he whispered smoothly, "I have Panadol in my suitcase." His rubbing ceased as his hands slipped into mine. He interlaced our fingers and began to massage the palms of my hands.

I turned to face him, trying to focus on the color of his eyes to calm me down. "Could I have some please?" He smiled and led me towards the bunks.

I thought how I wanted to get back to studying but I also wanted to stay here in Michael's grasp. I could hear the others mucking around in the back of the bus and I caught sight of Vis and Luke making out in their bunk. I ignored them and cast my eyes back to Michael. He'd since pulled his hands away from mine and was ruffling through his suitcase for the Panadol.

He groaned when coming across a few articles of clothing that were stained with sweat. "We really need to get to a hotel soon so I can do laundry." He groaned even more at his choice of words, causing me to smile. "Oh god, I sound like Luke."