Idiot Chat ➳ m.c

Vapor

»Luke«

"Don't lie to me, just lie to me."

I let Michael drive my car. I didn't particularly want to as I was feeling sick. Not sick from the events last night, not even slightly affected by a non-existent hangover. I was feeling sick from what I'd done. I couldn't help it, I just kept deceiving Michael and Ashlee.

I didn't want to be like this anymore, I had told them I'd try. I felt this guilt swirling inside of me, I couldn't hold it in. But I knew there'd be consequences if I did happen to talk. For once in my life I was worried about losing them due to the assumption of what we'd done last night. If they hadn't been so plastered they might've remembered, maybe if I had been as drunk as them we could've all laughed about it.

I remembered how I got to run my hands over Michael. How our bodies pressed against each other. How it felt to place my lips upon his pale neck. How it felt to slide my body over his. That was all taken away from me as I was brought back to the present.

Ashlee leant over the console to give Michael a soft kiss on the cheek. I could see the blush arise on his cheeks as he caught my eye in the rearview mirror. "Lee, can you message my mum and tell her I'm moving out?"

Ashlee just bit her lip and nodded determinedly. He passed her his iPhone and she began to furiously text Karen Clifford. I honestly loved Michael's mother, she was always so kind and gentle. Michael's dad didn't like me around but he probably knew that I was no good for his son anyway. I was an asshole, and I knew it.

"She asked where you're going."

Michael replied quickly. "Back to Ashton's for your bike."

"He'll be disappointed we didn't get a bed."

"He will survive, I'm sure."

They were both grinning like idiots. The car returned back to quiet and Ashlee went back to texting Karen. I felt terrible, like this poison was building up inside me. It wouldn't kill me if I spat it out, but if it held it in it would eat at my insides. The poison would start to show as it reached the surface, everyone would start to notice. That is until it bursts through my skin. Finally killing what was left of me.

Michael pulled my sleek car into Ash's driveway. I slid out from my seat to the hard concrete. I was being consumed already by the poison, it was building up inside of me, I had to spit it out. It would do less damage that way.

"Luke, why are you on the ground?" I tore my eyes from the pallid concrete to face the dark hazel eyes of Ashton.

Ashlee gulped when she saw me, she must've seen how sick this guilt was making me. I knew I had to spit out the words, with Ashton starting to question everything.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Where did you's go last night?"

"Why the heck do you all look so guilty?"

I saw Michael tapping his foot, a sign he was anxious and about to crack. I couldn't let it happen, I couldn't stand idly by and let the only good thing that ever happened to me face the consequences.

"Well, Ash...we um..we-"

I finally spat the words out. "You didn't do it. It didn't happen. Ashlee slipped and hit her head, you passed out shortly after."

I felt somewhat relieved. I had released the bad from my life. I had overcome the bad that had changed me into this different person. I didn't have to be that guy anymore. With one step away from it all I felt freed. As if it was the thing corrupting me, as if it was dragging me down the more I tried to understand it.
Now I just had to deal with the consequences of losing something good due to it.