Idiot Chat ➳ m.c

Want You Back

»Ashlee«

"You know even when I say I've moved on, yeah I still dream for you."

I was home. In Michael's arms I felt warm, content, bliss. Also I had a massive headache. I let out a groan and ruined my bliss further by pulling away from Michael. He was still sleeping soundly. A soft look on his face made him look at peace, as if he were smiling. He was so beautiful. Even though I was off of the bed I wanted to reach out and touch his cheek. Maybe even place a kiss to the tip of his nose. Then, however much I wanted to disturb him just for a simple touch I couldn't bring myself to. When it came to Michael I didn't want to be selfish but at the same time I wanted to revel in his grasp, I wanted to come undone like a coil being separated.

He was so close, yet my heart yearned to be closer. I vied to go back into his strong hold. I spied my brothers feet — entangled with Blayden's — peeking out from the edge of the bed. Their bodies were a large singular mass under the piles of sheets and pillows. I wondered what time they'd come back and whether they had seen me and Michael cuddled up on the bed. I didn't want Ash assuming anything, I didn't even know what was going on myself. I heard a groan and the rustle of sheets.

"Ashlee, are you leaving?" It was Michael. He poked his head up over the mountain of sheets. His hair was messed and fluffy, his eyes were slightly opened, still puffy and bloodshot from the night before. His voice sounded so uncertain yet still groggy and tired. I loved his morning voice, it was so husky. I wanted to lie next to him and listen as he spoke about his weird dreams in his raw voice. I wanted to be close to his warm soul. I wanted to run my hand over his soft cheek as I watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.

My mouth hung open, I was to yet respond to Michael's question. Was I leaving? Should I? Why shouldn't I? There was no point to running away anymore. Michael and Lana broke up and I'm pretty sure I had told him I loved him last night. There was so much unclear air between us, so much being left wondered. I pulled on my oversized teeshirt that had been dumped on the floor last night. "Yeah," I replied, my voice sounding estranged. "I'm a bit hungry and I promi—"

"I could come with you?" Michael chirped quickly, rolling off the bed and searching for some clean clothes frantically. I didn't want to let him down, my headache started banging more viciously against my forehead as I stressed to tell Michael what I had planned. I didn't want to snap at him so I took a few deep breaths and shut my eyes.

I breathed out once more and finished my sentence as calmly as possible. "I promised Calum that we'd go to that small coffee shop around the corner." Michael immediately stills, holding the dark jeans in his hand tightly. Oh shit. Now it was his turn to snap at me.

Still facing away from me I heard him let out a large sigh. "This isn't about what happened last night is it? I don't want things to go back to how they were, I want us to be like last night." I was surprised he still remembered what happened. My mind was a bit blurry but it wasn't hard to remember the way Michael held me, touched me. I remembered the way my body felt flush against his and how we almost kissed. When I woke up this morning I was in heaven in those strong arms of his. I never wanted to leave his arms again.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to summon a response to him. I wanted things to be like last night too, he wasn't the only one feeling this way. I knew it would be hard though, we couldn't be like that straight away. I don't want to rush things with Michael and them end up messed up horribly again. "No, I want you to come. I just don't want to complicate or ruin things again. Last night was amazing Michael and you don't know how long I've been waiting to say those things to you."

"But...?" He drew out, expecting me to say more to him. I shook my head, there was no but, no more I wanted to say that was negative. He tried out a smile, sending it my way, turning to face me with his incredibly perfect body. "You won't complicate or ruin things. I know things won't be easy but I don't want to stay away from you any longer. And if that means having to hang around Calum as well, I'm fine with that. As long as I can see you and not have to love you from afar."