A CLOSER STEP TO THE LIE||√

-4- went closer

     (At home) To start by I was so so sad about how I treated rebbica pluse am better now why not I phone her she may be sad from me because I treated her in this way  ,perhaps! She would understand me , I dialde her number  her twice and when she answered me I was so sorry hearing her worried voice , which made me feel worse but I will seem to be better , hi, said rebbica are you alright now ?,mhm, I replied to her, am good now, better ?or doing well?miss you so much said rebbica same but what can we do we should be so enough with the calls yes the calls because rebbica is my bestie since I was in germany in my mother's country I knew her at the school one year before I travel to the US so we can't talk with out the social media . While, I was talking to rebbica my mom called me so I ended the call fast and am murmuring what is the situation now mum?!.
 
        Yes mom on my way I replied I went down the stairs I cursed for nothing hundred times  , my mom was on the sofa holding a cup of tea drinking slowly burning me because I want to know what is it the reason she called me .sit down daughter I would like to inform you that we will transfer the next week to germany ,germany ? Where rebbica , mhm , yuppy!. I went jumping on the stairs and singing and dancing I felt kind of happiness I think I never felt before, I reached the room still dancing my heart was jumping my eyes was watering my mind was on fire burning, and I only realised I didn't even complete the conversation with mum but however I went to shower ,while am bathing I was singing brightly and positively, but for a momment ,I remembered how my mother looked at the momment I was dancing on the stairs, she seems to be surprised. like she of course expected something else, well, am more than what she expected happy, more than what she expected loving this idea ,am crazy in love with the way my mom usually surprises me ,she is so sweet ,well I know that I was just so angry from her just because she called me , but now I feel diffrently well too diffrent I started loughing and from this I felt on the ground after standing on a soap but still am loughing crazly on the floor
   
       I went out and my smile is still there apearing more heavily when I looked on the mirror and I got my comma I cought it smoothly and I feel like my fingers is numbing slowly so happy in the level I may stop moving for the whole day I felt my day is gonna be the best because I was doing my best to catch my mood from falling  down, well maybe as usual I should make my cofee and call rebbica to make my day and to tell her about the surprise .mhm most exiting thing is her reaction , well it been a long time since I saw her face to face maybe since I was in grade seven yh maybe it been three years. After that I called rebbica to tell her about the surprise then see her reaction , I called once but she didn't reply then twice she replied , hi perrie, how are you today?good and exited rebbi, I replied happily , well good what happened why so exited?, I will come to german with my mom I screamed, oh with your mom replied rebbica sadly, mhm, why, I said , I could hear her crying voice shaking my heart and slowly through my veins and killing me , I barely can hold my voice , what is happening rebbica ,as soon as I finished saying these words she ended the call, I cried after this alot but still I don't even know the reason of it but am really sad for her but why were she crying even, ok am not sad from her  no problem if I was her I'd rather to stay alone for sometime and that could be  my own space, in the case I remebered my own space and I like doing this I like being lost in my own world of dreams and freedom right? I went to the room laid on the bed trying to relax  in my own words of dreams I closed my eyes and I remembered aunt sally rebbica's mother ; she was friend to my mother but it been three years since they even phone each other , and my mom doesn't like to talk about her , but why perhaps! They fought, but I and rebbica are still friends and will last for ever , I wish!
   
      Any ways now am thinking of the way people lives in german is it the same in the US or as they say rapping is more and girls are like a sex toy for any boy or can I be a victam one day of that sexual harming I don't feel exited any more I thought that my virginity would last longer and I could cut it with my wish but still I didn't find that dream boy that I chased once and twice and trice in my dreams , maybe it should be no more than a dream boy , actually I didn't care about how handsome he would be , but arleast gental and strong enough to protect me , I think not every one will agree , some want money and look only but am a little bit diffrent , I think in stuff which is deeper but I can never get closer to discover it by my self