A CLOSER STEP TO THE LIE||√

-6-the 1st thoughts

Closer to my mirror thinking of aunt sally's kindness how she died and just thinking in rebbica am her bestie so i could undrstand her well, but maybe couldn't feel her, like I couldn't even imagine that my mom is dead in that way.but, I was thinking that aunt sally is like a mother for both me and rebbica. Because since my parents divorced and I live with my mother I never seen my older siblings chris and karla I miss them but I think that our parents was so selfish when they had to decide this .well since that time I felt I lost the love of my mom she is now so busy with work so she could pay for our life I know it's for me and her for us but I think something else is happening and am not yet noticed it,or somthing is missing from my life♥

Rebbica-

(At school) well this accedent has been three years till now I think I never cried for mom since two years not that I don't miss her but I think I got used to it or that I didn't think about it once , but today I feel a strange feeling of tears coming deep from my heart you know the feeling of that when your heart got stamped by a sharpen knife ,exactly. Whatever my boyfriend clay is near me I don't want him to notice me or that am crying , perhaps! He won't care or even notice but for sure I don't want him to know am crying and so I ran fastly to the bathroom there where I cried as much as I want relaxed and i went out to see clay standing in the corner staring at the bathroom (girl's bathroom) and seems to be searching with his eyes on me to stare on me and find me out , when he noticed me he threw his back bag on the corner and went to me fastly then I was nervouse and am revising in my my mind if there is any wrong I had dond in our relationship? He came closer I could feel his perfume it was sweet and good I love it I rarely love any other perfume, rebbica! What happened ,said clay , me I pointed with my finger on my breast , he cought my hand and pressed in my hand hardly and pulled me to the floor we two are on our knees now I started crying then he said softly I saw you crying , now, tell me what's up, nothing I said but just remembered my mother just missed her, it seemed he cought his tears and before his eyes close , he hugged me and warmly I felt his heart beat it went and came through my mind like a rythem , then he cought me from my shoulder and helped me standing then whispered in my ears "ich liebe dich(love you in german) "ich liebe dich auch"(love you too, german)

PERRIE-
well I feel I need to have a rest ignore my homeworks for today no one will notice till tomorrow when the teacher asks every one will notice but who care well any ways it will last only for few minutes so I could ignore but I don't know what to do for tomorrow just let me sleep and have my rest then let me fi..huuh....finish my homeworks, as soon as I placed my head on the pillow I slept,
After I slept till the next day I was now thinking of my sister karma she was calm she loved me and understood me , though when our parents split us , it was dark days to get used of talking to no one all the day .Because am not so close to my mom to be honest , my mom used to leave me with my aunt karma when I was in grade seven becouse I was alway scared of staying alone and my mom was supposed to be working all day as well as me I should be alone all the day

REBBICA-
( 6:30 pm) hah now am at home drinking my coffee calmly at the evening becouse I love that time it feels good remembering the calls my mom used to dial daily at the same time . thinking of her voice and words loved them missed them but it's done now she is near god, in the time am relaxing and am between awak and sleep , then my phone rang , I was to lazy to answer but I took a look then it was a call from clay, I answered fast hi I said , halo, how are you today he completed, can gut I replied, why?!, he said ; you know I replied trying to be relaxed? Ja I replied ok imma leave you now when you are better call me ok ,I replied

PERRIE-
(6:30 am) now it's too early morning I love staring at the window at this time , after two days am going to german feeling this exitment to see rebbica and to go back well I really miss german I missed it so much and also I may meet my siblings yes maybe but I think mum won't be so happy seeing dad well it been a long time since I met them but are they still the same or did my father fill their mind with those dark thoughts making them hate me, I dialde rebbica but she didn't answer so I decided not to bother her any ways she still got her father and I still got my mother that's too enough for both I guess