I just wish

Grayson

      "You are what?" My heart was racing. 
      "I'm not; I'm almost eighteen and my parents can't tell me what to do."  She acted like that was a probable thing to happen. 
I tried to clarify.
      "Your father got a new job and is moving to Colorado? Why now? Why not wait until you and Zach are at college?" She shrugged. 
      "I will never get to see you.  Or Ez.  You can't move."  I raked my hand through my hair. 
      "What was that thing he said about getting away from here because of Underwood? Why is he even in the picture?"  Gwen bit her lip. 
      "She put her hands on my arms and motioned for me to sit down on the couch next to us. 
      "He kept emailing me asking to meet Ezra." I was furious.
      "Why didn't you tell me this? Gwen he's a criminal! You can't keep these things from me!"  I stood up and grabbed my keys from my pocket. 
      I was pissed off and being around Gwen was not something I should be in this state. 
      I slammed the door behind me and was ready for rage. 
      I got in my car and banged my hands on the wheel. 
      "Damnit!" I slumped and sat for a moment thinking. 
      If Gwen was moving there was almost zero chance of me seeing her ever again.  My family didn't have much money and couldn't afford monthly or even yearly plane tickets. 
     I looked back to the house and saw Gwen at the door waiting for me to come back.  I put the key into the ignition and turned it. 
      The car stalled but eventually turned over.  She started walking towards the car.  I put it in reverse and backs out of the driveway as fast as I could without plowing anybody over. 
I beeped to Gwen and headed home.
~
      I rolled in my bed, really wanting that empty space to be filled by Gwen.  I was so mad earlier that I hadn't thought about losing my best friend either. 
      Zach would be leaving too.  My whole life was falling apart. 
      Jess was dead, the Kelly's would be in Colorado and i don't even like Caleb.  I had the lacrosse team but not many other friends. 
      I rubbed my eyes.  I'm not usually emotional, but as I let that loneliness seep through me I felt tears coming. 
     I cried for the first time since Jessica died. That was months ago and I tried to stay strong for Gwen, but she had been my friend since fifth grade. 
      My face was hot and wet and I don't like the feeling so I got up and went to the bathroom. 
      I splashed water on my face and took some deep breaths. When I looked in the mirror I as absolutely shocked. 
      I saw the same crooked jawline and tanned skin with the scar on my cheek from a fight.  I saw my red rimmed green eyes that matched Gwen's.  I saw an empty man though. 
      My emotions had just left me.  My heart hurt and then it hit me that she hadn't left yet. That I could spend as much time with her before she left. 
      I grabbed my coat and left a note for my mom on the counter.  As my car sped away, I'm sure that I looked ridiculous in my flannel pajama pants and winter coat.
     
At the Kelly's house, I stood outside of her room.  I picked up pebbles but figured that how she was such a heavy sleeper they wouldn't work. 
      I lobbied for climbing the crossed plant thing on the side of the house.  As I scaled it, I heard a baby crying inside.
      Shit.  I forgot that Ezra was not a heavy sleeper.  I knocked on the window lightly, aware that would scare the shit out of gwen.
      "It's me babe," I said, loud enough to be heard through the glass.  She opened the window as I hung on the side of her house. 
      She pulled me in and smiled at my gesture.  I pulled her in for a hug. She smelled just like she had been sitting in a garden laying on flowers. 
      I kissed her hair.  "We still have a month."  I wanted her, but knew that it would be impossible. 
      "So date tomorrow and we can stay at your place?" She bit her lip In that sexy way she did.  I nodded at a loss for words. 
      She took my hand and led me to her bed where we layed and cuddled all night.
      "I love you Gwen." I spooned her and enveloped me in my arms.
       "I love you too."