Torpidity.(A Sope fanfic) #Wattys2018

Chapt 15

Dreams, hopes, forward.  

The word below are my edited versions of Min Yoongi's work.

(Yoongi)

It had been mere days since he had been discharged from the hospital.

The deadline for a new song was looming upon him again. He loved his job, but sometimes the songs he was asked to write weren't his style. He had to fake his emotions, imagine himself as a whole new person in order to write those kinds of songs. And in the end all his songs were sung by good for nothing celebrities who had a rich ass life all along.

His passion went way too deep into his soul that he couldn't quit.

He was always in the shadows the backstage, watching them perform his song, for their screaming fans . He wanted to get out on the stage and perform too but he couldn't. His shoulder that was crushed during one of his part time jobs and his insomnia prevented him from performing and besides he had no vocals or dancing skills or charms whatsoever.

He was just a stroke of bland of white paint on a white canvas. Completely undistinguishable. He hated that. He went through the same things that most of the young generation went through. He wished that one day he show the world the words that came from his soul rather than the ones he was forced to write.

Writing about love made him hate the mere concept of it. He valued family and friendship more than love. Maybe that's why he was known as a cold hearted ass by the female population in his company.

Yoongi tore another paper filled with useless cheesy lines and crumpled it and threw it into the bin beside him which was already brimming with many other crumpled paper balls.

He huffed in frustration dragging his fingers through his hair. He took a new page and started writing again. But this time he wrote what he wanted to.

Yeah, fuck, I live because I can't die

Nothing is more miserable.

Why did you say that my dream was a common one?

I'm the asshole for believing in those words,

I will cherish my dreams from its birth to its end,

No matter what you tell me to do,

So far away,

That dream of mine,

Yet I will chase it,

Because it flies.

I won't fall away,

Because it's my dream that flies.

Maybe I'm the fool for doing this,

But at least I won't live to die like all of you.

Yoongi looked at the words on the page, taunting him. Words, that he could possibly never show to other people.

I'm on own right now,

I'm scared of this feeling.

I'm scared that I will lose my way,

Now, that I have come so far.

I wish I could disappear,

Disappear like a mirage in the desert,

Like when the world threw me away,

I'm falling.

I'm scared.

"Aish!" Yoongi threw the book across the room, It hit the opposite wall with a thud.He got up from his seat and grabbed his jacket, wallet and phone and headed out towards the door not caring that he was wearing his pajamas with a trench coat in the middle of winter.

He paused as he opened the door, staring at the book lying on the floor. He sighed and walked towards him and picked it up and put it in his jacket.

He walked towards the park listening to the early morning chirp of birds. The sky was slowly turning electric blue from the crimson it was.

Without his telling, his feet brought him towards the abandoned place in the park. He hesitated before pushing himself through the thick hedges that covered up the path.

He prayed that the other male wouldn't be there.

Hoseok. Jung Hoseok.

Hoseok had become a frequent visitor in Yoongi's mind. Hoseok's plagued eyes haunted yoongi in a way that wasn't normal.

He slowly approached the tree from the last morning. This was the first time visiting after that incident. He slowly breathed in relief as he realized that Hoseok wasn't there.

He settled himself in between the roots like before and closed his eyes.

That was when he heard the soft snores that came from behind him.

Oh shit.

Yoongi slowly went on his knees and hands and started crawling towards the sound. He came face to face with a sleeping Hoseok. And he was touching himself.

No, not in that way.

He was slowly petting his own hair and th other hand was gently gliding across his chest in a weird manner that made yoongi want to smile.

Hoseok was also saying unintelligible words in his sleep.

How cute.

Hoseok looked like a hobo while he slept. Mouth agape and snoring through his upturned nose.

"Eomma" Yoongi froze at the word that left Hoseok lips. Was this why Hoseok had petted his hair while he slept?

Hoseok began to turn, scraping his cheek along the hard roots of the tree and Yoongi's hand was suddenly there, holding his face in his hands so that he wouldn't get hurt.

Hoseok smiled in his sleep. It was breathtaking.

Yoongi tried to take his hand away and hoseok's face set ino a panicked expression .

Yoongi's slowly lay beside the other male.

He couldn't explain his action towards the stranger but what stranger could be bad if they had pet his hair while Yoongi cried in his sleep? And beside he couldn't let Hoseok's handsome get bruised.

Yoongi slapped himself at the thought. 

Handsome? Yeah right. He looked lie a horse.

Yoongi watched Hoseok smiling contentedly and stop petting his own hair and sleep comfortably when yoongi glided his thumb against Hoseok's cheekbone unconsciously.

Kid had a skin smoother than a girl.

So he stayed beside Hoseok as he slept on Yoongi's hand contentedly.

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