Between The Lines

twenty-one

It pisses me off when I'm trying to click a picture but somehow even if the frame is beautiful the light is just not enough. So you try to open the aperture but you hit the limit. You try to reduce the shutter speed and the picture goes blurry and increasing the ISO only makes the picture worse and grainy.

My life was rapidly turning into that picture. To the naked eye it looked perfect. But as I held it under a lens I could finally see the noise. Aaron had some how turned into the aperture that just won't open up, Brooke was that shutter speed that wouldn't slow down a split second for my sake and it was best to leave Zach out of the equation.
After that weird conversation with Brooke in the girls' room I realized that I had been living under an illusion and my best friends had simply let me. I did not dare go anywhere near Zach after the way I embarrassed him in public.
I spent my days avoiding anyone and everyone. I hadn't even looked at Aaron after that day. Somehow it felt peaceful.
Just until a few days ago I'd had two best friends who were attached to me by the hip and a boyfriend whom I had had a crush on for ages. Brooke's revelation had completely discredited my theory of Aaron being jealous of what Zach and I had. And I was once again completely clueless about what could have possibly gone wrong.
I was too ashamed to talk to Zach. I had caused a public scene and I was mortified when it dawned on me what exactly I had done.
The team had won the next game as well, but I didn't stick around long enough to congratulate anyone. Truth be told, the only reason I even went was, being the photographer, I had to.
I was sitting in the cafeteria alone, pretending to ignore the looks Brooke was giving me when I felt someone slip into the seat next to me.

"Brooding doesn't become you."

"Mhm."

"So are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me?"

I finally found the courage and turned to look at Zach. His eyes, somehow a solemn grey today, were fixed on me; nothing but understanding and sincerity in them. His kindness honestly scared me sometimes. Like one day he'll hit his limit and that kind compassionate persona will come crashing down, destroying my trust in the process.
Just until a few days ago hadn't I thought the same thing about Aaron too... Like nothing could ever drive a wedge between us. Like no matter what happened we'd still be connected at heart. Like we'd be on the same page right until the epilogue.
My throat started closing up at just the thought of what had transpired between us best friends. My ears started burning and I finally realized that what I had got myself to believe to be peacefulness was just numbness over the current state of affairs. The tremors were finally reaching me and shock came over me in waves.
Zach must've noticed my face change as he grabbed my hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

"Amelia, you can talk to me. That's what I'm here for, and I'm going to be there no matter what."

I closed my eyes in fear that I'd start crying there and then. I'd prefer to keep my public scenes down to one per week, thanks.

"It's all going to be okay. I promise I'll make it all better."

Zach put his arm around me and pulled me to his side trying to reassure me. I wasn't sure how to react to that. I just found it very unnatural for someone to be so forgiving and rather annoying that someone could be so persistent. But I decided to give in anyway because lone-wolf was just not my style.

"I had a fight with Aaron."

"I figured as much."

"And Brooke."

"Why?"

"I'm not really sure."

I was sniffling now. Not good.

"Did they something to you."

"Kind of..."

"And did you say something to them to instigate that?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Why don't you tell me what exactly happened."

And I dove into the full length story of how I went to drop Aaron off and how I had been the best friend he could possibly have, and how he just blamed me of not caring about him.

"And then I find out the two had lied to me about their relationship. I tried to ask so many times and they hadn't denied once. You know he said he hadn't wanted to be friends for a while. He could've just told me what was bothering him and we could've sorted it out. I didn't know why he had to take it out on our friendship. I obviously saw chemistry between them. It isn't my fault they're blind to it."

Zach sat there listening to my entire story patiently.

"Friends aren't supposed to hide stuff like that. We had this amazing telepathic connection. We never had to explicitly tell each other what was on our minds. We just knew. And I just feel like that connection is lost now. And then I embarrassed you like that and I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me either."

Zach kissed my temple while he rubbed my arm to soothe me. Saying it out loud was making me feel much better than before.

"You guys have been thick as thieves since the dawn of time. You'll be just fine."

But somehow he didn't seem convinced. I could see worry etched on his forehead, like he was torn at my revelation, but desperate to hold it together. I could sense gears churning up in his head but I decided to ignore that and finally cherish the company I had.