Between The Lines

twenty five

"Amelia, what are you doing?"

I almost toppled over when I heard his voice. Busted! I struggled for words, a way to somehow fix this whole mess up.

"I was just passing... Oh fuck it! I want you to come with me. There's still something I want to do."

He looked at me a little worried. I was desperately trying to decipher his expression. I had already lost two of my best friends because of misunderstandings. I couldn't possibly afford to lose him too. He looked down at my hand and slid his into mine. He rubbed my palm with his thumb just like he had near the river. The place I wanted to take him. If I could have a time machine I'd go back to that night. Because although it was perfect somehow things went so sour after that.

"Amelia I really need to talk to you. Will you please listen for a bit?"

"No! We have to go. I'll listen to everything you have to say once we get there but not right now..."

I was pleading him, begging almost, with my eyes. Somehow I was starting to lose my confidence. I wasn't sure about what I was doing anymore. This whole plan was so stupid! I... I had to get him to the river bank. I dragged him to my car. Practically shoved him into the passenger seat and got behind the wheel. I was doing this. This was my last effort to do something right. If this failed too I didn't know what I'd do.
The whole time he kept his eyes trained on the road. He would glance at me every now and then. But it was different. I was wrong. He hadn't forgiven me. Maybe I really had pushed him too far.

"Zach..."

He looked at me. But that was just it. I wasn't sure what to say. I had this gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. My nose and ears were burning. My throat hurt. Not this again. I started taking deep calming breaths. Zach must've noticed this and he put a hand on my shoulder. His finger caressed my cheek and I felt a little better.

"Are you alright?"

All I could do was nod in response. I knew this was past the point of fixing but I was determined to finish what I started. The road seemed much longer this time. We both sat in silence waiting to reach the broken fence.

We reached the spot and I scrambled out of the seat. Picked out the pizza box that was sitting in the back seat. I had managed to pick it up on my way to the theater. I walked straight ahead to the bench hoping to God that he would follow. He did. As I knew he would. He really was the nicest guy in the world. I wondered if he had a malicious bone in his body.

"I'm sorry."

I turned around to face him

"I'm sorry that I've been a bitch to you this whole time. And I'm sorry I took you for granted. I'm sorry for never reciprocating your efforts. And all the times that I kept pushing you away. I'm sorry for yelling at you and everything else I've done wrong. You and I both know how long that list is!"

Now my eyes were stinging as well. I was NOT going to cry. If done way too much of that already. He saw the look on my face and stepped closer. He looked like he had so much to say but was holding back on my account. I instinctively took a step back.

"I know I haven't treated you right. It's just that you have been in my head for so long..."

He reached out for my hands.

" I didn't know what to do when it actually happened for real. It was just me day dreaming about us for almost a year and then all of a sudden we're dating and I was so utterly lost and confused! I'm sorry. You don't deserve any of this. But I want to make up for my mistakes I really do!"

He pulled me closer this time and I let him. I was done pushing him away.

"You haven't made a lot of mistakes Amelia. Just one."

I looked into his now dark eyes. They looked almost black. I waited for him to proceed.

"It was natural what happened between us because we are the mistake. And even though being with you makes so much sense to me, it just doesn't for us."

Wow! That was unbelievably harsh yet so gentle. Who is this guy!

"Amelia I don't expect you to change. Not one bit! It would be so wrong of me to even think that. You and I we are pieces of two different puzzles. And I could cut you up to make you fit but the picture just won't make sense."

Okay now I was legit crying. He pulled me into a hug.

"Amelia don't cry. I know you understand exactly what I'm saying here. You have your own place in the big picture and I have mine. And I'm not selfish enough to snatch away from your rightful spot for my sake. You and I both know you don't belong here with me. I've been trying to fix it but I have only failed miserably"

That makes two of us.

"And I think you know exactly where you need to be."

I heard the finality in his voice and knew there was nothing I could do anymore. So I simply pulled out of his embrace nodding. I couldn't look at him anymore. I needed my best friend right now. I started walking towards the car when I heard his approaching footsteps.

"Hey I don't want this to be awkward but I kinda left my car in that parking lot..."

Of course! I couldn't even get a clean break. This was going to be the most awkward car ride of the century. He got in besides me and I dropped him off at the theater parking lot.

Before I knew where I was headed I found myself parked outside Aaron's house. So I threw pebbles at his window until he opened it.

"I just broke up with Zach and you better not give me the cold shoulder right now you asshole!"

Tears were still streaming down my cheeks but I was almost starting to see the ridiculousness of this whole thing. I was so mad, and sad and urghh. I saw Aaron step out of the door on to the porch. Of course he did. He had finally got what he wanted. But there was no triumph on his face just concern. He held me to his side and I banged my head on his shoulder.

"You know maybe you were right..."

I looked up at him and continued.

"For the first time in my life I made an actual effort and he gave me a load philosophical bullshit. Me belonging somewhere else and some puzzle business and none of which made any sense to me."

"I think he just had had enough and wanted to get rid of me."

"He's a moron"

Aaron affirmed.

"I don't know anymore. I'm so exhausted and done!"

"Well you are right where you belong now."

Aaron smiled at me and pulled me into a bear hug.

"You know I'm taking your advice. I'm done with boys. For good."

Now he closed his eyes and banged his head on my shoulder.

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The End.