Break & Destroy You

Chapter 1

I wake up feeling arms around me, I tense up looking at my left seeing Devin sleeping so peacefully. I get up quietly, making my way to the bathroom, I brush my teeth as I do I look at myself, wow what a disgusting human being I am nothing about me is perfect I'm damaged, I'm broken and I'm so fucking hurt after 1 year of being free from him, I'm still fucking hurt after all the shit he did to me I still miss him sometimes, I miss the good memories we had. I miss the love that we once had, I miss the affection that he showed me. Everything with a snap of my finger just disappeared like that, poof. I look down on my chest tracing the scars that he left me. The scars I have always tried to cover them but what's the point? Nobody is ever gonna look at my body. The scars on my chest, my arms, they are everywhere. I hit the mirror looking at my disgusting self. I hear him sometimes the words he would say to me replayed over and over again in my head

"You're worthless, you're disgusting, you piece of shit, without me you're nothing" those words hit me like a ton of bricks and the saddest thing is that I believe his words till this day I still believe them, how sad. I was deep in thought until I hear Devin knocking on the door

"Can i come in?" he says

"yeah give me a sec" I say putting on a shirt. I open the door to see my beautiful best friend looking upset

"What's wrong Dev?"

He shrugs crossing his arms "I don't know Ricky why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

I shrug "nothing is wrong now would you excuse me" I say getting annoyed with the routine we do every single morning, Devin always tries to get me to talk about my feelings but as usual I don't budge, staying quiet while he lectures me about how it's good to talk about my feelings that he cares so much about me blah blah blah it's annoying and frustrating.

He rolls his eyes at me "why do you always lie to me? Ricky, I know you more than anyone else, I know when my best friend is not himself"

I huff at his stupid comment

"I am myself first of all, who the fuck are you tell me this shit about myself, I'm fine" I yell at him, he puts his arms up in defense

"Hey wow calm down, I'm just worri-''

"Well don't worry I'm fine'' I hiss

"Fine whatever you say"

Devin pushes me out the bathroom so he can use it.

I sigh deeply running my fingers through my hair get it together Ricky don't let him get to you! I know don't you think I fucking know! The voices in my head fighting against each other. I breathe in and out deciding to make my way to the kitchen. I grab the cereal and the milk, pouring the whole cereal box in my bowl, seeing as I'm a fat ass who loves eating anything. That's the problem for me, always eating never stopping, he would always let me know that I was gaining weight, his words would be "Ricky stop fucking eating so much you're starting to look like a whale"

Wow, talk about being romantic....

I wipe my tears away quickly not wanting to cry over something so stupid, eating my cereal in silence listening to the birds chirping outside. Sometimes I wish I was a bird so I can just fly around whenever I want, not listening to anyone just me and my wings flying.

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It was already midnight I was in the living room watching tv as usual

Devin coming inside the room

"How do I look?'' he says giving me a spin

"Good"

Devin huffs putting his hands on his hips "you're not even looking!"

I roll my eyes looking at his outfit he was wearing a long sleeve black dress "you look fabulous, gorgeous, hot, now are you happy?"

He smiles "very" looking at himself in the mirror fixing his hair and makeup

"Where are you going?" I say seeing as every Saturday Devin finds a new club to go to

"Out to some gay club, do you maybe wanna go out with me?" he says slowly

I stay quiet, Devin knows the answer and that is no. 

Devin clears his throat "well I tried"

I look at him while he puts his lipstick on

"I don't know" putting my head down in shame, Typical Devin always trying to convince me to go out but it never works, I always get scared that I'm gonna see him out there. You see when I escape from him I had nobody, my family kicked me out when they found out I was gay so I knew I couldn't go to them. I was living in the streets no food, no water, nothing. Until one fateful day, I met Devin he took me in, he took care of me, he bought me clothing and gave me a home. I couldn't thank him enough for the things he has done for me.

"Come on Ricky I really want you to come with me, I wanna have fun with my best friend" he pleads a

"I don't kn-"

"Stop saying you don't know," he says sitting on the couch grabbing my hand intertwining our fingers together.

"I know it's scary Ricky for you trust me I know but you have to let go and move on, you can't let this bastard get to you, you have to experience the world my friend" he says with the biggest smile on his face

I sigh deeply letting go of his hand "you promise nothing bad will happen to me if I do go out with you" I say putting up my pinky finger

He smiles at me "I promise" intertwining our pinky fingers together

Now let's just see if he can keep his promise.

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(a/n) The first chapter is up so YAY! I'm so excited to start this story! Now I'm kinda stuck about Ricky's character I don't know if I wanna make him seem like Ghost with the dresses and makeup maybe I will who knows. Be ready for the next chapter everyone. It's gonna be a good one!