Hiddlebatch one shot(s)

Friends with benefits. FEELS-Y

A/N: This is as close to feelsy as this has got so far. So... Okay and it's really not bad! It's not! Don't worry!

Ben looked at the sleeping form on his chest and sighed softly, feeling the form stir slightly, he knew what that meant, he was going to get up and leave, like he had the last time and the time before. He closed his eyes to fake sleeping, feeling his heart begin to race, "Please don't leave." He was about to say. Not that it would change a thing, they already discussed their walls, their limits, each morning he left to avoid awkward situations. He watched Tom slip effortlessly from his grasp like sand in a fist, he felt the cold air begin to set in as his hand unlaced with Tom's. He studied how he slipped on his boxers and trousers, leaving only half of the clothes on the floor that were on the floor, "Bye." He heard him whisper. Ben didn't reply, he just turned over in the bed, and buried his face in the pillow.

This had been going on for the good part of a year, Tom would come over, maybe talk if they were lucky or it'd just go straight to making out. What had happened about half way through the year was something Ben had sworn not to do. He fell in love, effortlessly, easily. It just happened like the movies, he had denied it at first, sworn he just liked the idea of him, he liked their connection. Now he knew, after three months, "Please don't. Please stay with me." Ben finally made out, his head still buried in the pillow in hopes he could suffocate himself. He felt pain everywhere, his head, his heart, his stomach. He was just in pain, no matter what he did, no matter how many times he had attempted to keep this strictly Friends with benefits. Tom turned one last time, as if he had heard Benedict, he walked slowly to him and kissed his head.

Benedict didn't move now, he tried to hide his face again, knowing Tom was still there but he felt an awkward blush creep over his face along with a small smile he tried hard to hide. Tom let out a small smile, "You shithead, I know you're awake." He said softly before walking out of his apartment. Ben sat up as soon as he heard the door close and buried his hand his hands, giggling slightly. He pulled his legs to his chest and breathed in and out slowly before stretching them out and reluctantly rolled out of bed.

~*~

Ben stared at his phone, waiting for a phone he had usually expected, a familiar voice asking to come over that he couldn't reject. It didn't come that night. So he called himself, "Tom?" Ben said into the phone softly. He could hear the smile in Tom's voice, "Hey." He replied lightly. Ben couldn't hide the grin on his face, "Are you coming over tonight? Or...?" His voice trailed off, he knew he didn't have to finish his sentence. "Yeah. I can. I'll be over soon." Ben knew where this would usually lead, those words they had exchanged always meant the same thing, each night practically the same script was used. However he wasn't ready to do anything, tonight was the night he called this all off. He was done, his emotions were too much of a priority in his mind now and the only way he could stop this, get over any of this. He needed to tell him, let it out and then he could recover.

~*~

Ben opened the door and stared at Tom in his doorway, a familiar sight. Tom leaned in and smiled at him, kissing his neck softly, biting at the soft skin, "Tom, Stop." Tom didn't answer to his plead, kissing up his chin. Ben almost gave in before he mustered the strength to push him off, "Stop." He said, Tom still didn't listen, he pushed him away quickly, "Tom. No. Stop! I need to talk with you." Tom stared at him, a pit of rejection forming in his stomach. Ben stared at him and then pulled up a chair and sat down at his kitchen table, "Sit." He said to Tom firmly, pointing to the chair opposite of him.

Tom's face was now pale and emotionless, "Okay. Are you alright? Have I done something?" Ben shook his head no. Tom raised an eyebrow and sunk into the chair, "Then what was that for?" Ben just burried his head in his hands. "I have to talk to you about something." He breathed. "Just don't talk until the end. Okay? Can you do that for me?" Tom nodded slowly and clasped his hands in his lap.