Hiddlebatch one shot(s)

Nightmares- Read author's note at beginning please!

A/N: PLEASE READ!!!!

Okay so this fiction is the most triggering I will ever go... I will try to do this with as much respect as I can. If you have been reading my fanfictions or just followed me and are just now reading this, in October I had a very close family friend commit suicide. It is a very sensitive subject and for me it has inspired me to create an organization called The Jeremy Project. (Please, please, please, go read that, I really hate promoting my work because I really don't like my work that much, but this is very personally and I would appreciate if you read it and would participate.) Anyways the point is in this fanfiction I write parts where you see the after effects of what I have seen happen to those effected by my friends suicide. So if you have had thoughts about suicide I suggest skipping the parts between *** (This means new scene ~*~)

SERIOUSLY DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED! DO NOT READ!

DO

NOT

READ

PARTS 

BETWEEN

***

IF YOU

ARE TRIGGERED!

_______________________________________________________________________________

***

 I watched blood pool from his mouth, coughing out what I thought could now be a scarce recourse as most of what I thought one human could hold was no the floor. I tried to scream but nothing left my mouth, my heart pumping so fast I could hear it in my ringing ears. I tried to choke out a word but nothing exited it, forming a bubble of saliva on my lips. I felt sobs enter where the screams should be, his hand bringing the gun to his mouth for one final blow.

The gun went off.

I finally screamed.

I ran to the man's body, watching it almost fall before I caught him in m arms. I had worked with him for two months and now he was lying in my arms dead, his face grey and his eyes white, rolling back into his head. 

***

Tom screamed, his eyes flying open, his hands hot and sweating like my body, gripping the sheets. He could feel his  heart beat in my jaw. Air passed over his bleeding lips but he didn't know he was breathing, he couldn't feel air expand his lungs. Blood dripped down Tom's mouth sending him into another reeling vision before he was sent back to my room. The lights were now bright all around him. He shudder at the touch on his shoulder.  

"Tom? Tom, look at me Tom. I'm right here, that was a nightmare, look at me." Ben cooed, running his hand over Tom's cheekbone, brushing hair over his face. Tom's eyes flickered around the room before meeting Ben's.  His breath was heavy against Benedict's face, Ben continued to run his fingers though Tom's soft, messy curls. 

Benedict swiped the blood from his lips, wiping it on his pyjama pants. Tom stared at him for what seemed to be  an hour. 

Then he broke.

 His face fell first, and then came the tears, sobs fell out like screams, "I should have said something. I should have stopped him but I hid! Now he's dead and it is my fault!" He collapsed into Benedict's shoulder, but Ben did not judge. 

 ~*~

After Tom had finally  calmed down after a full hour of sobbing he let Benedict leave. After all his job was only to make sure he wasn't going to off himself like the actor had. Benedict stood, his hand brushing over the bedpost. Tom leaned back in bed, trying to muster a smile before he spoke just as Benedict turned to walk away, "Wait, Benedict." Ben turned immediately.