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The rain is my tears and the thunder is my heart breaking -releasingz


I stood in front of the bed staring at my brother , my heart beat increased   my throat closed up and I couldn't breathe , tears ran down my face . I was staring at my brother but all I could see was me and I know we're twins but I couldn't shake the image

"I'll leave you two" Uncle Thomas said but nothing  came out when I tried replying

I tried processing everything but I couldn't , what have I done ? It should have been me and not him I took his life , his future away from him while I'm here breathing I don't deserve living

I shook my head and left the room without looking back I heard Aunt Beth calling my name from behind me but I just needed to be alone with my thoughts and regrets

I must have not seen where I was going because I bumped into a hard structure I looked up and saw the person I least expected Brian Evans

"Woah Nevaeh James-Knight is that a ghost I see" 

"Brian Evans" I never really liked Nirvana's best friend there was something odd about him

"In the flesh and I mean how do you do it you look more beautiful each time I see you"He said smirking at me

"I see you haven't changed a bit" Once a player always a player

"Change why would I change looking like this I mean come on" he said turning around as if he was modelling

"You know change is good" I said folding my arms

"Kind of like your hair and tattoos" he took a strand of my curly hair and pulled it to examine it

"What are you doing here" I pushed his hand away from my face

"I'm here to see my bro Nirvana"

"Whatever" I rolled my eyes and walked away

"Hey come back here"he grabbed my arm and turned me around

"Don't touch me" I said pushing him away from me

"Nevaeh okay I'm sorry come back" he said calling my name behind me

I starter running as usual not sure where I would go because with every turn I would take I would be faced with familiar faces giving stupid sympathitic looks , somehow I found myself outside the hospital and I will admit I'm happy that I'm out I couldn't handle the pressure nor this feeling I have in side its all too much

I went to the car and it wad locked it didn't matter though because I just needed to breathe , I sat on the bench near the car and just faded out

Madison's P.O.V.

It sucks being alone in the room I miss Nevaeh more than I've missed anyone I didn't realize how special and sentimental she meant to before she left , I shouldn't of let her left but I know that would be selfish of me , I don't know how to get in touch with her because we both didn't think that she'll leave this fast

I'm just a mess right now honestly

I layed in bed hoping to get some sleep despite my insomnia and frequent bad dreams , bad dreams another thing that troubled Nevaeh I remember times where I would hear her screaming and gasping for air and it would kill me each time because besides the friends I have she was my one and true friend and no matter how much I would assure her thing's never seemed to get better for her

I don't know how and I don't know why but somehow I'm going to find her because she is the only thing in my life that actually made sense and I know she's in need of my support with everything that is going on

Nevaeh's P.O.V.

I looked up and was faced with my reflection bouncing of the car and looking straight at me some how it had managed to show my bruises , scars and stiches the one's I just choose not see but where very clear to me . I'd gotten hurt alot but I guess the depression I had overtook the pain I was experiencing

"I knew you looked familar and I mean I should've guessed what with the scars and stiches over your body" A female's voice said from behind me , I turned around to face the voice and I was faced with the lady I saw on the t.v Amanda Gillies

I turned back to where I was facing and folded my arms "I don't know what you're talking about and if you dont mind your blocking the sun"

"Oh but I do know who you are Nevaeh James-Knight your twin brother is in ICU because of you"

I kept my posture straight and tried my best not to let any thing she said enter in my brain

"Your silence says it all Nevaeh I just can't believe you would try and kill your own flesh and blood better yet your twin your other half I really wonder what your parents who say oh wait you don't have parents what a shame"

"Don't you dare speak about my parents you don't know them and don't you speak about Nirvana you don't know him" I screamed standing up from the bench and walking towards her

"Looks like I've struck a nerve"

"Next time you decide to talk about my family know the facts don't come here with your bullshit and think you can throw it in my face you don't know me therefore you can't stumble up here with your fake boobs and injected lips and accuse me of murder so if I were you I would get to stepping" I said turning on my heal and sitting down on the bench she scoffed and walked away the noise of her heels fading away

I was somewhat proud of myself but I have to admit what she said hit me hard I mean what would my parent's think they're probably rolling in their graves at the moment and I'm pretty sure they're disappointed in me , everyone is disappointed in me

I stood up and looked around realising it was getting a bit late I know for a fact I'm not going back in there and I know that I cant go home because they locked the door

I decided to go to the one place I know I wouldn't get judged the one place I knew where I would find comfort my grandparents house

I stood up and sighed staring my journey on the road , since I grew up here I knew the fastest way to get where I needed to go and I was at my grandparents house within 15 minutes

I could smell my grandmothers cookies from when I walked up the stairs in someway it felt so good to be where I grew up but I didn't want to think about me and Nirvana running down these stairs laughing and enjoying life because the fact remains in this point of time we aren't laughing and we're dreading life . I placed my head on the door and raised my hand to knock but I just frooze and I don't know why

"I was expecting you my dear" My grandmother said from the porch swing scaring me so much so I almost fell to the floor

"Ma" I said placing my hand on my heart and tilting my head

"Didnt mean to scare you there love"she said rising up and walking towards me , "Come give your ma a hug I haven't seen you in ages"

I didn't even hesitate I ran to her giving her the biggest hug but I just broke into tears I felt so bad and I blamed myself for Nirvana's accident it was all my fault and now my brother is laying there on a hospital bed fighting for his life because of a stupid argument

"Shhh it's okay it wasn't your fault its not anyone's fault this is just God's way"she said squeezing me tighter as I buried my head into her shoulder

"Dry those pretty eyes my dear and come inside I made your favorite" she said pulling back , holding my face up straight and wiping my tears

I nodded my head and followed her in the house and somehow , someway I felt safe I felt home


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