Misunderstood ✅

023

After being welcomed and showered with love and all of my favorite foods I headed up stairs to Nirvana and I's bedroom . We shared a bedroom at that time when we still lived with our grandparents because we couldn't stand to be apart from each other

I sat on the couch by the window staring outside , I closed my eyes and I could hear everything , I could hear our laughter , our cries just everything but what was the most distinct was Nirvana's voice when he told me "Everything thing will be okay" when our grandfather fell ill and things didn't seem to be getting better

He was always there for me , reassuring me , protecting me and just being there for me whenever. He was always there for me in my times of need but I couldn't even be there in his time of need I'm such a bad sister I just need to suck up my pride and visit him I got up from my couch and walked to Nirvana's side of the room and sat down on his bed I picked up a blanket on the edge of bed and wrapped myself in it smelt like lavender with a touch of mint but I could still smell Nirvana's scent I layed down on the bed and brought my knees up close to me I then closed my eyes and forced sleep upon me

I dreamt I was drowning....

I slowly opened my eyes taking in the room and everything in it I sat up on the bed and shook my head if I let anything in my head I'm certain I won't want to go , I made the bed and placed the folded blanket on the edge of the bed

I stood up and took clothes from my side of the room when I was done bathing and dressing up I went downstairs to the kitchen

As I approached the kitchen there was music playing , Etta James at last to be more specific I leaned against the framing of the kitchen arch and watched my grandparents dance around the kitchen they've been married for so long yet there is so much love , they bearly fought which is more than Leonardo and I

Leonardo......I'd forgotten about him gosh how much we fought it was really frustrating and sometimes we got along so well which was also really frustrating because his mood changed like the weather kind of like his eyes

"Nevaeh my beautiful granddaughter" My grandfather said pulling me into a hug and breaking my deep thoughts

''Pa" I said hugging him being careful not to hurt him in anyway

We broke the hug and all sat on the table and had breakfast , my grandparents told me all kinds of outrageous stories that I couldn't help but laugh at .the  After eating I helped my grandparents clean up

"Ma I'm heading out" I said closing the kitchen cabinet

"To the hospital" she said she asked casually looking at me by the corner of her eye

"Uhm yeah" I said not looking at her

"Go there with an open heart and an open mind okay" she said touching my shoulder and brushing it

"I will Ma" I have her a small smile and walked out of the house ready to start my journey

I walked quickly and made sure I kept my head down , when I arrived there was more of a commotion than yesterday , news reporters were just packed and they were all around the entrance

I walked into the back entrance and this wave of regret started clouding my head I closed my eyes and took a deep breath letting go of the handle and walking straight towards his ward

I stood in front of the door just inches away from it "I'm sorry miss it's only family allowed" The nurse said touching the handle and standing right in front of me

"Yeah well I'm his twin so I guess that considers me his family" I said dropping the hoody and taking of the glasses and putting them in my pocket

"Neveah ?" She said her eyes getting bigger she was surprised and I didn't know why and I also couldn't care less , I came to see my brother and now I can't even do that

"Something like that" I said folding my arms now getting annoyed with her

"Oh I'm sorry miss please go in" She said stepping away from the door and back to the nurses station

I sighed and took a deep breath as I opened the door and closed it behind me , I placed my head on the door and thought of a million reasons I have to be here no matter what I moved away from the door and slowly walked towards the bed

There he was my brother laying on a hospital bed helpless and lifeless I sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand in nine

"Hey there stranger" I said softly

"It's Nevaeh"

"I'm....I...I'm so sorry Vana I didn't mean for this to happen if I could turn back time I would heck I deserve to be in that comma not you....I..I ruined your life and I'm so so very sorry I love you Vana please wake up ppp...please" I tried fighting back the tears but they just gushed out I let out everything in hopes that maybe he would wake up and give me a hug even though I wouldn't deserve it

I wiped away my tears and touched his cheek , his beard had grown and he looked older than he is

"I'm not leaving you this time Nirvana I'm going to be with you every step of the way" I said carefully placing my head on his chest hearing his slow but steady head

I got of the bed and sat on the window sill looking at my brother , this is hard but I made a promise to him to stay so I guess I have no say this time

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I sat on the rock and placed my feet in the strem below me , somehow my most favorite place had become my most dreadful place but since nobody knew this place and since I wanted to be alone this is all I've got

I've been in the dumps lately and I don't know why maybe its because Nevaeh left or maybe its because lately I've been having nightmares and my grandparents and Jace , I can hear this voice all the time and it's driving me mad

"Leo ?" Madison's voice said from behind me and immediately got annoyed

"What are you doing here and how the hell did you find me" I said balling my fist

"Relax okay I followed you here"she said raising up her hands as if surrendering

I rolled my eyes and turned my head to the side I have no energy to fight

"Look I didnt come here to fight I'm just worried about you okay" she sat beside me with her legs folded "You dont eat , you bearly come outside , you don't talk to anyone Leo I don't even know who you are anymore"

"Neither do I" I sighed

"Talk to her it might do you justice" she said standing up ''I know it did for me" And with that said she was gone

Neveah how was I supposed to get to her or even talk to her . I just need to suck it up and forget about her , forget about her purple hair , her smile ,her beautiful brown eyes , her many tattos but my favourite being the one that says 'emotionally unavailable' , forget about her fair hazel/nutmeg skin.

I'd just had to forget her in general even though I it will be hard it's the only way