Breakeven

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What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces.

"You should go home Mr. Morgan" Dr. O'Malley says sitting beside me on the bench right outside of Addison's room.

I couldn't bring myself to walk in, especially when Addison's horrid mother is giving me shit for something I had no control over.

I get she's hurting, but for Christ's sake I am too. I would give anything to trade places with Addy, I'd give anything to just take back the silly little argument we had that pushed her to leave. Hell I pushed her to leave to another mans arms, maybe her mother was right maybe this is my fault. Maybe I'm no good. I'm not fit to be a decent fiancé how the hell did I think I'd be a good father, to not only one kid, but to two.

"I can't leave her.. not again.." I say nearly above a whisper.

Dr. O'Malley pats my back, I could tell he was just trying to give me some support but it wasn't helping. Nothing anyone would do can help me right now. Because nothings going to change the current situation. Addy isn't just going to magically remember I'm her fiancé. She isn't going to magically remember we have a whole fucking life together, and that's my fault too.

I hear her, she's laughing, her and he mother are laughing.

I smile to myself, god just her laugh. Just to hear her laughing tears me up even more. She doesn't care about me.

"Where's Jeffrey?" I heard her ask

Dr. O'Malley went to say something, but I ignored it and rushed into the room.

"I'm here" I say quickly, happy that she even asked for me.

"I'm supposed to be released soon.." she starts, looking down to the floor

"That's good" I say quickly "we can go home and-"

"She's not coming with you" her mom says, cutting me off "she's coming with me."

My heart sinks I look to Addy and she looks up to me, her doe eyes filled with so much confusion, so much sacredness It broke me.

"Now wait a second, doesn't she need to get back into her regular life? Her regular routine?" I say looking at Dr. O'Malley.

He chimes in "yes, being in her regular environment can spark something to get her to remember somethings"

I look back to her mother "with all due respect she hasn't lived with you in years." I snicker "she's been with me for the past two"

"Yeah but she doesn't remember that" she says snappily "you are a stranger to her-"

"Mom!" Addison speaks up "Please.. Jeffrey's not a stranger to me. I just-I don't know him like the way he's claiming.." she looked over to me, her face written with sorrow "and for that I'm sorry.."

I shrugged and look to the floor

"But if Dr. O'Malley says I need to get back to my routine then that's what I'm going to do"

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