Savior/ Jeffrey dean Morgan

Welcome to reality

For the rest of the night I didn't let Addison out of my sight, no way in hell was I gonna allow her to see Jon, I didn't trust it.

Instead Norman, Addy, and I watched The hangover series, far into the night, eating shitty Chinese take out.

1AM rolled around and Addison is out, she's laying on me and snoring her little heart out. I couldn't help but smile To myself.

Man I could've lost this forever.. I study Addison more intently, rubbing her belly, noticing I was the only one awake. Norman had left to his room awhile go, and my back was starting to kill me. But I didn't wanna wake up Addison. She was too precious when she slept.

I turned off the tv leaving us in complete darkness, I pulled the blanket up over the both of us and slowly let my sleep kick in. Just when I was half asleep I hear addisons small voice coming from below me.

"Jeff?" She whispered, frightfully.

"Yes baby?" I answer quickly, clearing my throat

"Do you wanna makeout?" She asked innocently.

I opened my eyes to notice she had gotten off of my lap and sat up next to me.

I chuckled slightly

"Addy it's 2 AM-"

"Please." She insisted "please just kiss me" she says tearing up a bit.

Confusion laced my thoughts I didn't understand why addy was about to cry, I didn't know what else to do, I quickly leaned in and pressed my dry lips to hers.

After a min or two of kissing she started crying hysterically

"Addy!" I sat quickly taking her into my arms.

She began to sob even harder

"Baby calm down.. what's wrong?"

"Everything!" She says angrily "I'm such a fuck up!"

"Baby! Why are you saying this.." I hold onto her even tighter and she calms down a bit.

"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve this life I'm living. I don't deserve any of this.." she says slowly, sniffling.

"You deserve the world princess"

"No, this life isn't meant for me" she mumbles wiping her dark eyes

"Addison-"

"I don't want to be here anymore Jeffrey" she says normally. Fucking normally. As if what she said didn't have any context to it. As if it weren't up for discussion

"Don't say that.." I whisper, half in anger, half fearful on what Addison is really implying. I couldn't take if she did anything to herself, I would blame myself till the end of time. I vowed to her I am responsible for all of her actions I'm supposed to take care of her, no matter what state she is in.

"I feel so alone" bluntly, as if it were true!

"Stop it. You're tired we aren't going to have this conversation it's time for bed" I say letting her go and standing up, causing her to fall out of my lap onto the other side of the couch.

"Please listen to me-"

"Addison. No. You don't really feel this way please let's just go to bed, we can talk about this in the morning.. please just not tonight-"

"Why!" She cried out "you're supposed to be here for me"

"And I am."

"No. You're shutting me down. Let me speak please!" Her voice cracks at the end. And that broke me even more.

I sighed slowly, and sat back down, folding my arms I sat back and allowed her to begin

"Jeffrey, I don't know if it's these pregnancy hormones, or if it's genuine feelings.. but I'm depressed." She starts off slowly "there hasn't been a day that goes by that I haven't thought of ending it all"

"Why do you think you feel this way?" I question slowly, taking her small fragile hands into mine, letting her know that I'm here 

"I think it's just all this pressure, I'm forced to be and act a certain way all the time-"

"No no not all the time, when you're with me you can be yourself you know this cutie" I say, causing her to smile softly.

But I could tell it was fake, I could tell there was a deeper issue she wasn't willing to express to me

"You know, you can tell me anything right?" I ask, trying to reassure her I'm supposed to be her safe space. I'm supposed to be the one she can vent to.

She clears her throat "I'm just not happy.."

"With what?"

"I don't feel complete. I know, I shouldn't feel this way, I got the dream guy, starting my own family, hell im even in one of the most favorable professions... but something's missing"

She shrugged her shoulders and looked back up to me, her eyes swollen I looked to her and instantly felt guilty

"Am-Am I doing something wrong?"

"No!" She quickly says, she doesn't even let me begin to blame myself "no Jeffrey, it's not you. In fact I love you so much and sometimes it kills me because what if I can't make you happy..?"

"You make me plenty happy Addison Nicole." Firmly, i grasp her hand even tighter "do you understand me?"

She nods

"You are my world." I bring her into my arms and hold her tightly, her sniffles turned to little noises.

I held her for another good ten minutes, she didn't speak, I was for certain she had fallen asleep in my grasp

"Addy?" I call out lowly.

Silence, the only thing I could hear were her cute little noises I knew she made when she was asleep.

I smiled to myself and wrapped her legs around my waist, and in one swift motion I picked her up, and carried her to bed, like a little girl.  Carrying her to the bedroom I couldn't help but to think how lucky I truly was to have her in my life. I can't even imagine where I would be without Addison, she started snoring a little louder than usual.

I Set her down on her back onto the bed. I pulled our thick white comforter over her and kissed her cheek

"Good night precious.." i whisper to her.