The Diary of a Fallen Girl

prozac teen

The life of a Prozac teen is comical, almost.

The idea in and of itself is pitiful. Make sure to be prepared to answer the same repetitive questions:

"How do you know you're depressed?"

"Aren't all teenagers hormonal?"

"Are you sure it's not just one of those phases?"

Well, 1, if you were me, you would understand, 2, yes, and 3, yes.

On top of the monotony of doctor appointments and psychologist checkups, you better get started trying to figure out how to act normal. The question is, how does one get to feeling normal?

Ha ha, you don't.

Have fun getting a boyfriend, making friends, or managing a healthy school life, you emotional slave.

Work ethic? Nah. Wait—Screw homework too. You'll prefer to spend your home time laying in bed and doing nothing, smothering yourself in existential dread. Spare for the days where you wake up in an unusually good mood... good enough to convince yourself to get out of bed in only thirty minutes.

Are you lazy? Nope. Do you act it? Maybe.

There's not many rules to being depressed. Just don't expect much out of life, and you'll be fine.

And, oh yeah— before blood hits the floor, don't forget to lock the door.