The Diary of a Fallen Girl

j

Writing no longer comes naturally. I guess the beauty came at the expense of something, who-knows-what. However, that is not the main focus, and I digress. Lately, I have found myself to be interested in someone. I have vivid dreams though, ones offset by "this is going to hurt," and waking up with the fresh taste of blood in my mouth.

If only liking someone else could take away the love I have for another. Perhaps that's not how it's meant to work, and perhaps I will forever love him. I cannot allow myself to be in love with him anymore, though. All those that have hurt me in my dreams are simply just a projection of myself. I no longer know who they are in their real bodies, or so I believe. Maybe that belief is for the best, though.

That is not my point, however.

There is someone else who has captured my interest. Maybe they too shall forever remain a mystery to me, but ideally not. He has dark hair and foreign skin. Skinny and tall. In other words, he seems perfect. I only say he seems perfect though, for I will never be sure about anybody ever again. I have been proven that multiple times, and I would be naive to ever believe that I fully know someone. Maybe I am just ignorant and blind, however. Maybe I was just practice, for who knows what. The universe has captured my attention once more, and I believe that I should listen this time. I am smarter than how I act.

Now it is time to stand up, and try again.