Obviously, This Is Not Love

24| Acknowledgement

Imagine yourself being conscious at everything you do, say, or act especially when Torres is around. Parang hindi ako mapakali lalo after niyang magconfess sa akin nung pumunta kami sa Enchanted Kingdom.

He did not held my hand after we rode the Wheel of Fate. I don't know. Nag-expect lang siguro ako na after niyang magconfess na may maiiba sa kaniya. Yung tipong mas magiging touchy, caring, or maging sweet. Though I am relieved and I admire him for that, by being true to his words na hintayin niya muna maging okay ang lahat.

I am on my way home when Arki suddenly pulled me aside.

"Tinetext kita pero di mo naman ako nirereplyan." Obvious na annoyed siya.

Kinuha ko yung cellphone ko sa bulsa ko and checked if he did text. Pero nakita kong low batt na pala ako. I showed him my cell, "Patay cp ko kaya malamang hindi ko masasagot tanong mo. Ano ba meron?"

Bigla niya akong hinila. "Come."

Tapos hanggang sa makasakay kami ng sasakyan niya at dumeretso sa kanila. When we pulled over in their driveway, nakita ko na nandun ang mama ni Arki. I looked at him confused.

"Arki, anong meron?" I asked him again.

"If you charged your phone, edi sana alam mo. Just play along." Nagmadali pa siyang bumaba para pagbuksan ako ng pintuan. "Gusto ka lang makita ni mama."

Doon nag-click sa utak ko na ako nga pala ang girlfriend ni Arki sa harap ng parents at lola niya.

Nung bumaba ako ng sasakyan, Arki immediately wrap his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to his side. He kissed my forehead as he whispered, "Love, forgive me."

I forced a smile tapos palihim kong kinurot si Arki sa beywang niya. Tiningnan ko mama ni Arki. I reached out and hugged her. "Tita! How are you?"

She hugged me back. "Alive and well. I've missed you. You should visit us more often, hinahanap ka ng lola ni Arki. She's suspecting na baka break na daw kayo kaya hindi ka nakakabisita sa amin."

Biglang sumingit si Arki sa usapan namin ni mama niya. "Ma, I told you, busy si Aris ngayon. She's a video editor ng university and may project sila na tinatapos. At sabihin mo kay lola na hindi pa kami break ni Aris. Mahal ko kaya ito. Ayaw ko na ngang pakawalan eh."

He pulled me closer to him again, nagkatinginan pa kaming dalawa. He smiled. And for the first time, kinabahan ako sa ngiti niya. His smile seems so... genuine. Nananaginip na ba ako?

Arki reached for my hand. "Tara sa loob?"

Hindi na ako nakapagreact kaagad. I was utterly dumbfounded. Si Arki na ang nag-guide sa akin sa loob ng bahay nila.

Nagserve kaagad si tita Keira ng pineapple juice sa bar nila. Binigyan niya kami ni Arki ng tig-isang baso. "It's been months, Aris. Tagal na akong walang balita sayo. Kahit nga si Arki walang nababanggit about you two. But I am really glad na magkasama pa rin kayong dalawa hanggang ngayon. I'm sorry for asking this, but how long have you been dating na ba?"

Do the math, Aris. Ano ba yung sinabi ko nakaraan?

Shit. Nakalimutan ko na. Di ko tuloy alam kung ano isasagot ko kay tita Keira kasi in the first place, wala namang 'kami' na nag-eexist sa mundong ito.

Arki smiled at his mom. "7 months pa lang naman, ma. Bakit mo naman naitanong?" He even held my hand. I forgot how weird this is. We've been used to pretending that we are in love with each other but realizing how painful this will be for Arki's family if they will know the truth, is making me feel different and wrong. I'm aware that I am just stranger in their own home. The fact na hindi naman talaga ako girlfriend ni Arki, feel ko hindi ko deserve na nadito ako. At hindi rin deserve ng family ni Arki yung maloko.

 I pushed my thoughts aside. Tita Keira just shrugged her shoulders. "Wala naman. It's just that... Pasensya na Aris, ha? Ngayon lang talaga si Arki nagkagirlfriend eh. I'm just making sure that things are all well. And I want you to know that I am happy." She smiled at me.

Pero sa isip-isip ko, nako tita, madami nang naging girlfriend iyang si Arki sa school. I just don't get it na bakit pa niya kailangan itago iyon kung okay naman pala sa magulang niya na magkagirlfriend siya. And I would like to reiterate to myself, sana hindi na nangyari itong pagkukunwari in the first place. Mas lalo lang namin binabaon ang sarili namin ni Arki sa isang malalim na hukay. Paano pa namin ito aayusin kung sobrang ang dami nang nangyari at na-invest na din ang family niya sa amin.

Biglang nag-ring yung phone ko. Tiningnan ko kung sino. Si Torres.

Lumingon ako saglit kay Arki, nakita niya rin kung sino. Dahan-dahan na niya akong binitawan sa pag-hawak niya sa kamay ko. I swear I saw how fast his reaction changed. Am I reading his reaction right? Nalulungkot siya? But then again, bakit? Wala naman talagang 'kami'.

I excused myself from Tita Keira para sagutin yung tawag ni Torres. His call could be anything. Posibleng tungkol kay Cather, may outdoor trip pa naman sila ng mga barkada niya, as much as I want to be positive, talagang nandoon pa din ang worry ko na baka kung ano ang mangyari sa bestfriend ko. Posible din na tungkol ito sa org namin, baka may emergency or whatnot. And I know that it could also be nothing. Pero ewan, pagdating kay Torres, parang lahat importante sa akin.

"Hello?" sagot ko sa tawag niya.

"Aris?" The way he said my name, parang naiimagine ko na mayroon ngang problema.

Bigla akong nagpanic. "Ano yun? May nangyari ba?"

"Si Aera..." he trailed off.

Thoughts came rushing on me.

"Ano yun, Torres? Tell me."

Ramdam ko yung takot sa boses ni Torres. At ganun din ako, hindi ko man ganoon kakilala ng husto si Aera pero yung pag-aalala ko sa kaniya halos hindi ako makahinga. I remember her nung nasa grocery store ako and how the guy, yung ama ng ipinagbubuntis niya, treated her with such disrespect. I can't help but think negative thoughts.

  "I... I don't know... May natanggap akong tawag sa isang hospital... I think something is up..."  

I noticed Arki siding slightly closer to me. Obviously, he's also worried.

"Tell me where, Ris, I'll drive you there."

I just gave him a blank nod.

  "Saang hospital Torres? Magkita tayo sa sakayan." 

And that was that. Next thing you know, papunta na kami sa Laguna.