Obviously, This Is Not Love

Special Chapter | One question (Category: Romance)

Special Chapter | One question (Category: Romance)

TITLE: One Question

Entry #5: Thompson University

Written by: Jemima Alarcon (Thompson Media writer)

His hands clench around the railings, his hair are swept to where the air breezes gently like how bamboos gracefully dance to the wind's rythym. I watch him stare into the vast horizon of the cityscape with the sun rays grazing his skin.

None of us were in the mood for a sweet conversation. Now is not the time to pretend like everything will be fixed by the word 'sorry'. This minute is solely dedicated for all the heart aches and nightmares of two strange people endured when they were together. We were both in the middle of contemplating what went wrong. What made us strong before, easily crumbled and was thrown away by pride and selfishness.

The question is: What happened?

I remember the day we'd laugh this off, thinking how silly we were for fighting over little things. But I guess those little things also grow, which apparently, these things  tore us apart. I stood beside him, reaching out for his other hand. He did not hesitate to hold me back. I looked at him, smiling. My heart leapt when the corners of his mouth turned up. And I thought for that second, I completely lost him. Not yet, I guess.

I suddenly snickered. I used my other hand to cover my pesky mouth.

"I'm sorry," I said,  biting my lip to hold back my laughter, but I guess I was in for a dreary joke. I let go of his hand for me to be able to hide my face from him. I was still laughing.

Even though there's no reason to laugh, he was laughing with me. As if we understood why I was laughing uncontrollably and it turned out, we both found it funny. But the thing is, we really know what was going on. We really understood each other like how we understand that death is the only occurrence that will hinder people to be together. Will and I understand each other, ever since we learned what love was, we were already together. That's how deep we both stood for each other. Nothing was going to separate us.

Or so I thought.

"You're laughing." Will's whisper echoed.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry... I know I shouldn't be laughing,"

"No, no." He smiled, "Just... Laugh. It's nice seeing you laugh,"

My cheeks reddened, my pulse throbbed like I'm having a panic attack, and my stomach was filled with the familiar butterflies. "Stop it." I told him. "I j-just... Do you remember that one time we ran away from that chinese store after we accidentally broke a vase?"

"I don't know, but I vividly remember how the storekeeper chased us with a back-scratcher waving at us. I thought he was  going to catch us by then, but luckily, you were a fast runner. We outran him!" He said, suddenly reminiscing the insane things we've done. His hands automatically moved with his words, as if he was leading an orchestra. "How about that one time we packed a lot of sapin-sapin in our pockets during my aunt's birthday? We ate it at the playground after we were scolded by your mom?"

"I do remember." I said. Then I heaved a heavy sigh, "I wish I'm a kid again. Life was much more easier with our parent's lecture and leather strikes right in our thighs."

He began to be quiet. "If only running was the answer to our problem, we'd run nonstop together."

My laugh slowly faded into small sharp breaths. "Look at us. We're both crazy. What are we even doing?"

His eyes lingered back to the settling sun. "We're parting ways, I suppose."

I nodded my head as a form of agreement. "We are."

He placed his arms over the railings as he inclined himself forward to a more comfortable stance. Right after, he gently positions his head onto my arm, leaning against me. "I love you. You know that right?"

I took one painful exhale for my wounded heart. I am used to hear him say that he loves me. However today, hearing him say those words felt like I have never heard it from him before. As if those words were like a code to decipher before I even embrace it's meaning.

He noticed my silence.

"I loved you. I still love you, and I will always love you, Arden." He continued.

"You can't love me forever, Will. At some point you'll stop. Please stop telling me that." My voice came out like a whimper.

"Arden." He called out my name. I'd die once more just to hear him say it again. But my name seemed to feel like a poison in my ears, it bleeds every time he utters it. "That's not true."

"It doesn't matter if it's true, Will! You can't tell me that as if nothing between us is broken. It's not the same anymore, okay? It's not like how we used to. Not how you used to."

He was taken aback by my respond. I caught him off guard. He's now staring at me, with his eyes gaping the image of me confessing how hurt I am. Who says breaking up is easy?

"None of us wanted this to happen, but it just is. Things happen for a reason. We can't do anything if nothing is working out between us."

"Or maybe you've given up---"

"Gave up? You think I gave up? Arden! Have you not seen me trying my best to work things out between us? I want this relationship to work as much as you do! You think I could easily throw eight years with you? After all this time, you still don't know me that well? I tried, Arden. I tried!"

"Try harder!"

"Well, how about you? Did you try? For the last few months, you've done nothing but to whine, complain and weep like a child! You bellow as if the whole world is against you! You think you did your part in this relationship?!" His voice rised to every word that comes out of his mouth.

And in that moment, I realized, I have lost him.

I just lost him.

I can't believe that I did.

For eight years, I have lost him.

I took a step back, scrutinizing how we both ended this poorly together. I expected more than this, and here I thought we will part ways with peace in our hearts. But boy, was I wrong? Indeed.

"I'm sorry..." Words came out weak. My hands began to tremble into fear.  "I'm sorry." Then, my tears just trickled on my skin, flowing continuously on my cheeks. I can feel the heavy drops of it topple against the concrete floor, as if every tears were a part of me - connected to me. I can feel it splatter when it touches the surface, then, I can feel myself splash into million droplets until I get seeped by the ground.

I ran.

I ran away from him.

I ran away from him with a question left unanswered in my mind.

What happened?

A/N: To avoid confusion, here's the explanation regarding this chapter.

This is the plot which will serve as the entry for the THOMPSON MEDIA in the University Films. I wrote this plot, I did not copy it from anywhere or to anyone. However, if you noticed something similar to others' work, please know that it is purely coincidental. I have no intention of copying somebody's hard work. Thank you, ;)

We have midterms these incoming weeks so I have to prioritize academics first! :) Keep in touch - X gretell