Obviously, This Is Not Love

1| Talking Is Hard

1| Talking Is Hard

He told me.

But I don't know what to say, to feel, or what should I do. So he watched me as I struggle for the right words to say. Hindi ko naman kasi forte 'to eh. Maybe if I'm Cather for a day, then I will know what to do in this kind of situation. Unfortunately, I'm Aris Leanne Martin - the most awkward person you'll ever meet. I feel pressured and I  don't react normally to this type of conversation.

Oh, gumballs. Paano ba 'to?

"Uh... Thank you?" Kinukurot ko sarili ko, for all I know, maybe this was all just a dream. It's impossible for someone like Arki Frey Lewis to find me... cute.

He laughed. "Seriously, Aris?"

"Bakit?" His laugh caught me off guard. Mali ba na mag-thank you ako? Sabi ko na nga ba eh! I always find myself in a kind-of-a-lifetime embarassment, especially sa harapan pa naman ni Arki. Namamawis na yung mga palad ko. Bakit ba kasi ako nandito sa computer room in the first place? Oh, right. Hinihintay ko pala yung USB ko kay Torres.

"Ganiyan ka pa rin ba talaga? Mahiyain? Pero kapag kasama mo naman si Cather, hindi naman." He sat down on the empty chair beside me. "Sinabi ko lang na ang cute mo kasi bagay sayo yung bagong salamin mo, nangamatis ka kaagad." Then, he went back to the usual Arki I know - yung bagong lipat na kapitbahay mong wala nang ginawa kundi mang-bully sayo.

"Leave her alone, Arki. Lagi mo na lang pinagtitripan si Aris. Masapak ka pa ni Cather diyan." Sabi ni Torres, although busy siya sa pagka-copy ng files from my USB, nagawa pa rin niyang makinig sa mga nonsense na sinasabi ni Arki. Isa pa ito, Torres and I are not close. But we 'interact' kasi he's Cather's twin brother.

"Right," Arki submitted. "Also... I wonder how you and the Cather  became close. You two are obviously different from each other."

Since I'm not a talker, I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Aris." Inabot na sa akin ni Torres yung USB ko, kinuha ko naman. "Bigay ko na lang kay Cather yung notes na na-miss niya sa klase niya ngayon. Thank you."

Ngumiti na lang ako kay Torres. I was about to stand up, but Arki stopped me by asking another question. Nakakairita yung daldal ni Arki, I swear. "Since absent si Cather... Sino na kasama mo?" He was smiling - an evil smile. Alam niya kasi na si Cather lang ang lagi kong kasama. So, kapag wala siya, sino nga kasama ko?

I'm not actually that alone.

Pero hindi ko pa rin pinansin si Arki. "Uhm, Torres, thank you ulit!" He smiled.

"Gusto mong samahan kita pauwi?" Tanong ni Torres. Nagulat ako sa tanong niya kaya hindi ko maiwasang tumitig sa kaniya. Metaphorically, I can feel my lower lip touching the floor. Never nag-aya si Torres na ihatid ako sa amin. Although lagi naman kami magkasabay ni Torres umuwi kaya dapat no big deal na iyon sa akin. Pero iba kasi ngayon eh, hindi ko kasama si Cather kaya wala siyang dahilan na samahan niya ako pauwi. But here he is, asking me.

Could it be true? Nababanggit kasi sa akin ni Cather na parang nahahalata niya raw kapatid niya na may crush sa akin. Pero hindi na namin pinansin yung idea na yun kasi hindi nasunod yung mga signs na pwedeng makita kapag may crush sayo ang isang tao. Cather's words, not mine. But today... It's different. He seems different.

My heart suddenly skipped a beat. "Uh..." Nabuhol bigla dila ko. I can't stop staring at him.

I've been friends with Cather for almost three years, therefore, three years ko na din kilala si Torres. But never did I think na totoo yung sinabi ni Cather sa akin, akala ko nababaliw lang si Cather nung mga panahon na yun.