Destiel One-Shots

Story Fourteen

A/N: Yo. Another update for ya because I have a lot of feelings about this subject. (Takes place during Season Seven before "Emanuel")

Time to change cars again, I thought bitterly. I wanted my baby back, but it didn't seem like that was happening anytime soon. I unloaded all my weapons and bags from the trunk and transferred them into the new piece-of-junk car.

That's when I noticed a carefully-folded bundle of tan fabric. I knew what it was as soon as I saw it; my eyes tightened as I reached down to pick it up. It was bloodstained and worn, but it still made me think of him.

I don't know why I kept it. We weren't friends, not anymore. He tried playing God and it didn't turn out well. In the process, he betrayed all of us and drove my brother insane. He released Leviathans all over the globe, for God's sake.

But I couldn't make myself throw it out. So many times, that tan trench coat had come to help when I needed it most. He used to be my best friend.

But he was gone now. Gone, and like ripples in a pond, the things he started were impossible to stop, and getting bigger by the minute.

I couldn't make myself throw it away and forget him, but I also couldn't make myself forgive him. I was caught in this in between emotion, and I just couldn't let go of it.

Then, with that shabby coat in my hands, I realized why I couldn't let go: it was because I loved him.

Not like I loved Sam, or Bobby; it was different. It was a feeling like a snake coiled in the pit of my stomach, some weird combination of care and lust.

The realization hit me hard, and suddenly I regretted that I would never be able to tell him how I felt. I sank to the ground, still clutching the coat.

I was having some sort of breakdown, and I could only hope that Sam wouldn't find me like this. I squeezed my eyes shut, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. But I wouldn't cry; I couldn't. I had promised myself I wouldn't cry over Cas.

I picked myself up, then unfolded the coat and held it up, just so I could imagine that he was still there beside me. I closed my eyes and tried to recall his blue eyes, the sound of his voice.

I opened my eyes and sighed. I bundled the coat back up and put it back in the trunk. I closed the trunk and turned around to leave. But I wasn't strong enough for that. I took the coat out again and kept it with me.

It was almost like having him with me again.

The end. I just had feelings, ok? Sorry if I made you have feelings or if this one sucked or if anything was wrong with it. Don't forget to vote, and until next time, keep on keepin on.