TABOO

Twenty Two.

"Lust For Life" - Lana Del Rey
"Here Without You" - 3 doors down

September 23rd:

"Your dad, Kate, and I plan on flying out to New York to visit Harry. Are you coming with?" Mom asks me at dinner.

I swallow hard at the mention of Harry's name. It's been a rough month and a half since he left. I still love him, and still know it's wrong, but it doesn't change anything. I've been trying my best to focus on everything else except for him. It's getting better each day but only slightly. Would seeing him again back track how far I've come?

"Yeah, I suppose. I'll have to call Angie and let her know I won't be attending on Saturday."

"What's Saturday?" Dad asks.

"It's my acting skills 101 class that lasts three hours. Remember? I go to it every Saturday."

The rest of the evening passes slow, and before I know it, it's Saturday morning at 3a.m and were boarding the plane. My insides are buzzing at the fact that I'll be seeing Harry in a matter of hours. It will be the first time since he left.

The flight passes by slower than molasses, but eventually were all out of the airport and in a rental car. Mom and Dad are up front, and I'm in the back seat with Kate. She's occupied with her phone while I'm occupied with trying to push down my anxiety. We have breakfast at some fancy, overpriced restaurant before heading to our hotel to get settled in. It's a suite with two bedrooms, one for Mom and Dad, the other for Kate and I.

Around noon, we're all dressed and ready for a lunch date with Harry at Shuka. Apparently, it's his new favorite place to eat, and it has delicious Mediterranean food. We get there before Harry does and find our seats easily. My hands are trembling as I lift my glass to drink my water.

"Always fashionably late, you know me." Harry says, making me jump.

Everyone gets up and hugs him, greeting him with "hello's" and I missed you's" I stay in my seat, giving him a once over, but staying silent. His hair is short! It no longer falls to his shoulders in cascading curls, something I'll have to get used to. He looks sexy as hell, just like he did before he left a month and a half ago, just without the long hair. He wears black slacks paired with a matching blazer, and a silver tie hangs around his neck, making him look all professional. I swallow hard.

Harry chooses the empty seat between Dad and I. His eyes flick over, connecting with mine, but I have to look away. His proximity is almost too much. In my mind, I'm straddling his lap and kissing him passionately, telling him how much I missed him. The progress that I had thought I'd made is nothing but I lie. I feel the same way about him now as I did before. Why did I have to be the kind of person that loves so easily?

"Aren't you going to say anything to your brother, Stell Bell?" Dad asks me.

"Nice hair," I comment without making eye contact.

"Thanks, little sister."

When I look up at him, he's beaming. Mom stares at the both us with a worried expression, and I regret letting her know about us. Given that she knew anyways, it's still embarrassing when the three of us are in the same room. Does she think we still have something going on between us?

I wish we did.

"I have an announcement to make." Kate says as she stands up, breaking the awkward tension. Everyone turns their attention to her. "Levi and I are engaged. He asked and I said yes!"

Mom and Dad both go in for hugs with her. While they're in their own little celebratory bubble, Harry's hand rubs up my thigh underneath the table. I gasp and stare at him wide eyed. He's still into me, still interested in us. His hand is gone as fast as it was there, leaving me wanting more. I can never get enough of his touches.

After we're all done congratulating Kate, Harry explains what all he's done in NYC so far. He explains about how the directing is going and asks Dad for some tips. He tells funny stories about the actors and actresses he's working with, tells us about the grueling hours he's put in, and how amazing it is to finally have his dream job. He seems to be happy, with not a care in the world. Has he thought about me any at all? Or missed what we had together? Does he realize how miserable I've been the entire time?

After we're all done with our lunch, Harry offers to show us his house. Kate and I ride in the Range Rover with Harry, and Mom and Dad follow us in the rental car. I let Kate ride in front, not wanting to be close enough to Harry to be able to touch him, but not being allowed to.

His house is a modern style mansion that sets atop a small hill just outside the city. It's a two story that has three bedrooms, two baths, a living room, kitchen, dining room, and a den. It's nice, but not as nice as Mom and Dad's house.

"What are you doing tonight, Harry?" Dad asks. "We could have a family game night at our hotel. It would be fun."

That would most definitely not be fun. I hope he says no.

"Actually, I have a cast and crew party tonight at The Red Rose. It's a new club down town, and I was planning on inviting Kate and Stella to accompany me." Harry says, turning toward me and my sister.

Things always seem to go wrong when Harry and I are at the same parties.

"Of course we'll go, Harry!" Kate answers for the both of us.

"Great, it starts at nine."

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