TABOO

Thirty Five.

"Perfect" - One Direction

Harry:

I used to be the one who told Stella not be guilty. I remember telling her to ignore those feelings and just feel me, feel us. Now, the guilt is hitting me right in the gut. I'm Harry Styles, I don't feel guilt. Not for anyone or anything. Or so I used to think.

As much as I want to be with Stella, I feel terrible about putting her through the shit storm that's sure to come if people find out about us. I know how much she hates all the lying and hiding and secrecy. I love her and want to be with her more than anything, but would it be what's best for her?

Before I came home from college I never gave a second thought to anyone's feelings but my own. Stella changed me, and I changed within myself through the months as I fell for her harder. At the beginning I didn't care what she felt inside. I just enjoyed her reactions to me, and it boosted my ego when she'd melt under my touch or get nervous at my proximity. I thought I'd won when she had finally given herself up to me, but I was already falling then. I had never planned on taking anything this far. She was just a girl with a killer body, and I was just a guy who wanted some no strings attached sex. So much had changed since then.

Stella knocks on my bedroom door and walks in without waiting for me to open it. She still has on her skimpy pajamas from last night and her hair falls in tangles over her shoulders. She looks so soft and sweet, and I realize I don't ever want to lose her. She sits on the edge of my bed, still not saying a word.

I pull her in close for a kiss that gets my heart pumping, my eyes lingering on her face for a few seconds too long. We need to talk but I can't seem to find the right words. I'm not even sure what I want to say, want I want to do.

Stella speaks up first. "I want to do this."

"You know what we'll have to go through again. Can you handle it? The guilt that always weighed so heavily on you?"

Am I ready for it? If we get caught, am I ready for the consequences that might effect my social and professional lives?

"I don't feel it anymore. I got over it. I'm ready to be yours completely." She murmurs.

Is she saying this just so I won't worry? Or is it the truth? Does she really not feel guilty about being with me, her adopted brother?

"I feel guilty for you. I would feel guilty putting you through all this. Stella, I changed. I don't just want you for my own happiness, I want you because I love you. I want you to have the best life. I don't know if that's being with me."

It will break my heart if she decides to leave me, but it would break my heart even more if she stayed and wasn't happy with her decision.

"We tried staying apart so many different times, and it never worked. We always find our way back to each other. Time after time."

She's right.

We've tried staying away, but every time we find some reason to be around each other. Maybe it's fate's way of telling us that we belong together.

Now I'm fighting with myself. Would I be a good man if I kept her for myself knowing she could be with someone so much better? Or would it be stupid to push my happiness away for someone else's satisfaction?

"I think we should take things slow and see what happens." I say.

"Harry, I know what you're doing, and it's not your choice. It's not your decision on whether or not you'll be the best for me." She stands up with crossed arms. "I can make my own choices, and right now that is to be with you no matter what. I know that's what you want, but you're fighting it because you're doubting yourself. What happened to you? You used to think you were the best around. You were so cocky, so arrogant."

It's hot that she's taking a stand to make her own choices. Her confidence is exuding off of her small frame in waves, and I'm kind of turned on.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Let's do this!"

((Only a few chapters left... maybe I could work on a sequel, who knows. Anyways, thanks for the 10k reads, I can't belieb it! Please don't forget to comment and VOTE !! ))