"Better In Time" - Leona Lewis.
"What Hurts The Most" - Rascal Flats.
Back at my hotel suite, I dial Harry's number as soon as I'm inside. He answers after just one ring.
"Why are you calling me, little sister?"
"You didn't tell me you were with her." I snap.
"I'm not with anyone. Can't I have friends? Besides, you made it clear last weekend that it was a mistake to come here."
I want to tell him how much it's actually hurting me to know he's been with someone else, how much it breaks my heart that we lost what he had over the summer. Instead, I act like I'm not bothered by it and try to make him feel the way I am.
"Yeah, you're right. It was a mistake, but I learned from it. I learned that I don't need you anymore. I learned that I never actually loved you. It was all just lust. I lied about having true feelings for you. And the orgasms? They were fake."
My heart crumbles into tiny pieces with each word I say, tears into shreds with each lie I let roll off my tongue. I shouldn't have grew so close to him, shouldn't have let him in. I knew how easily I fell for people and how hard I loved, and yet I still done what I done with him.
"I never loved you either." Harry snaps. "I could tell how much you were into me and knew you couldn't get a guy to take you to bed, so I done you a favor." The phone clicks and I'm alone again.
He has to be lying, the way I'm lying. We both love each other more than we're letting on, and whole situation between us is so messy. His words still hurt me though, even if they're not true.
~
I spend the rest of the day out shopping in New York, distracting myself from everything going on inside my head. All the anxiety about my audition. All the hurt feelings and angry words between Harry and I. I keep wishing that things could go back to how they were before he left.
While I'm picking up Chinese food to take back to my hotel, Mom starts calling my phone repeatedly again. This time I decide to answer, preparing myself for her rage that's sure to come.
"I'm sorry I left, but it was an opportunity I couldn't miss out on. I hope you'll forgive me." I say into the phone.
"Stella, your father was involved in an accident on set and he didn't make it. You need to come home. Now, please." Her voice is shaky and I can tell she's barely holding herself together.
I pull my rental car over to the side of the road and throw my phone into the floorboard, busting out in tears. Suddenly, all the trivial things that are going on in my life mean nothing. I can get another audition, I can get another trip to New York to work on my acting, I can get another chance to tell Harry how I really feel, but I can't get another Dad.
After a few more minutes of strangled sobs, I start the car up again and drive recklessly down the streets with blurry eyes until I'm back at the hotel. I gather up all my belongings in a whirl wind, not caring if I'm forgetting anything. It doesn't matter, it can be replaced. I just need to get back home to Mom, who's all alone in our huge house with the new terrible reality.
My phone that now has a cracked screen rings from somewhere on the floor, and I scramble to find it, in case it's Mom. I need to tell her that I'm on my way, and I'll be home to be with her as soon as possible. I answer it without looking first and I'm met with Harry's deep voice, instead of Mom's soft one.
"Meet me at the airport, Stella. I don't want you flying alone." His voice is weak, missing the confidence it normally exudes.
"Okay," I agree without arguing. We can fix things between us some other time.
When I walk into the airport with my duffle over my shoulder and my suitcase trailing behind me, I don't see Harry. My red, puffy eyes scour the area for him and again find nothing. Strong arms wrap around me from behind, making me jump, and when I turn, it's Harry. His normally bright green eyes are dark and red rimmed, making my heart break for the both of us.
"Come on, Stell bell, let's get through security as quick as we can. Mom needs us." He says, guiding me through the crowd with a hand on the small of my back.
I can't hold back the tears as we board the plane and find our seats, and Harry's face shows that he's struggling to keep himself together. Neither of us say anything for the entire five and a half hour flight. I'm too shocked to speak, and I think he is, too. Once back in L.A we find my car in the massive parking lot, but neither of us get inside.
"I can drive." I say after a minute. My voice sounds strained and weak in my own ears.
Harry pulls me into a hug before I can move to get into my car. His arms encircle me, and he buries his face into my shoulder. First it's a few sniffles and then full on tears. He's crying so hard that his body trembles against mine, and soon I'm doing the same. It's all too much to take in. The fact that Dad was here one day and gone the next. We didn't even get to say goodbye. I run my hands through Harry's soft Hair, trying to soothe him while I'm feeling the same pain as him. We stand in the parking lot in each other's arms for a long, long time, maybe minutes, maybe hours.
"We should go." I say eventually, pulling away from him. "Mom needs us right now, and we need her. Kate needs us too, she'll be on her way to the house."
"Let me drive, little sister." He murmurs, and we load our luggage into the backseat before hoping inside and heading home.
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TABOO
Fanfiction"Harry, we shouldn't be doing this. It's so. . . taboo." Stella has always hated her adopted brother Harry and couldn't contain her excitement when he left for college. Now, six years later, he's back and to say that he's changed is the understateme...
