TABOO

Twenty Four.

"Camouflage" - Selena Gomez

After three or four more shots, seven songs, and a dizzy headed Über ride, were at Harry's place, sitting in his bed with the lights off. We are both leaning back against the head board, not kissing, not even touching. Because my pajamas are back at the hotel, I'm just wearing my underwear with another of Harry's shirts.

"So, how's life been going?" Harry asks. "We can talk now, for real, without the fam's ears and eyes to judge us."

I just want to make out with him but I answer anyways. "Honestly? I've been miserable since I admitted to loving to you. You left and you're happy here, living out your dream. I'm stuck at home doing college work that I hate and missing you like crazy."

"You don't need me, Stella. You could do much better than me. Well, I mean, I know I'm sexy as hell and all that, but. . ."

I cut him off by whacking his chest. "Stop being arrogant."

"Not a chance. Anyways, I meant you can be with someone who you can actually be with. You can go out to events together, you can do anything. You could be with someone who you don't have to hide from your friends and family. Someone you don't have to sneak around with, or feel guilty about."

"I know." I murmur. "Does this mean you don't want me, anymore?

"Of course not, but I love you, and I should think of your happiness before mine."

Thinking of someone else's feelings before his own? Since when was Harry so sweet?

"What if that's not what I want right now?" I ask.

Harry scoots closer, his arm snaking out to wrap around my shoulders. "What do you want? Right now?"

"You."

He wastes no time, pulling me onto his lap. My hands grip his broad shoulders and his are on my hips as I wait for him to make his move. After a few long seconds pass by, I lean in first, taking his mouth with mine and moan at the contact. This is what I've wanted since we arrived in New York, since before we even boarded the plane. His lips taste like mint and whiskey against mine as they move in the way that drives me crazy.

"Is that enough?" He asks.

"Not even close." It's like I'm the worst kind of addict and he's the best kind of drug. The high I get from being with him is worlds away from anything else.

Harry's mouth comes down on my neck and collar bone as his hands toy with the waistband of my panties. I'm already gasping and panting for air, and he's barely touched me yet.

"How've you been since you left?" I ask.

His hands slide under his shirt that I'm wearing and cup my breasts. "The job has been amazing, the food has been amazing, but I've missed you, obviously. I've missed this." He pushes me downward and climbs on top of me, his body spreading my thighs apart.

We don't waste anymore time with talking, after that. Harry works me up almost to the point of climax, and stops abruptly. I'm a hot, gasping mess under him as he rolls on a condom and slides inside me. It doesn't take long for the both of us to hit our highs, just farther proof that it'd been way too long since our last time together.

"Is that enough?" Harry asks again when we're laying next to each other under his covers.

"For now," I cuddle against him, nuzzling into the warm skin on his chest. We'll have to have a repeat before I have to go back to L.A.

I excuse myself to the bathroom, cleaning myself up and pulling Harry's shirt back on before I go to sleep. My eyes spot a pair of red silky thongs in the corner of the bathroom by his scale and my heart plummets. He's been with someone else. Not that he's not allowed to, but I thought that maybe I was his only one right now. My mood drops with each step I take back to the bedroom. Harry picks up on it as I pull the blanket up to my chin.

"Are you all good? Or did I wear you out?" He asks on a laugh.

"I'm fine."

"Alright," he pull me close, his mouth pressing soft kisses on the back of my neck.

I twist in his arms and prop my head up on one hand. "You know what? I'm not fine. There were red thongs in your bathroom, and unless they're yours, you've been been with someone else."

"Stella,"

I untangle myself from his grip and scoot to the edge of the bed, the farthest I can get from him without getting up. The sting of betrayal burns deep in my chest. Why does it hurt so much if we're not even together? Because you love him, my conscience reminds me.

"This was a mistake to come here. I don't know what I was thinking." I know I'm being a little over dramatic, but it's hard to keep my words inside when I feel them so strongly.

"What we have together is sexy and passionate. The chemistry we have together is like nothing else in the world. No one can compare to us, remember that." Harry says.

I roll my eyes. "You just love the sex. If I'm not here to give it to you, you just find some other vulnerable girl to replace me."

He sets up now, throwing the blanket across the room. "You know I love you, Stella, but you also know that we can't actually be together. You know that we can't get anywhere past a physical relationship, you said it yourself. Of course I miss you when you're not around, but I can't just cut myself off. I can't just not. . ."

"Can't just not hook up with different girls," I finish for him.

"Well I don't expect you to not date anyone back in L.A. I thought we understood each other. What we did together was for fun."

I don't say anything else after that. I turn the opposite way from him and try my best to fall asleep. When I finally do find sleep, my dreams are plagued with images of Harry being with other girls, touching them like he touches me, and kissing them.

Early the next morning, I call my parents and tell them I'm taking an Über to the airport and flying home, using the excuse that I'm sick. I do just that after getting dressed, not even waking Harry up to let him know I'm leaving.

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