DearDiary

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You Can Skip This Till Very End Because This Is Me and Myself About.

Guys, can I make this as my blog for awhile? I want to crying out loud but no one - like freaking no one - would ever listen to me in this house. I've been faking too much smiles and laughs and I can't hold it anymore. I just want to share it and I want someone to hear me out. I want someone to listen to me when I cry. Comfort people. But they aren't there. They aren't there when I need them... Like how I always be there, listening to their problems..

These chaos about EXO. Yes, I know I've been so much frustrated and stressed out about this. Crying all days and nights. Hoping that this is just all dreams.. I can't help to be angry when someone call Kris a betrayer. When an EXO's fans really want Kris to go out. When he/she called Kris a betrayer. I can't help but being furious and I just want to stated my opinion.

He/she said that the post on Tao's ig was originally from him. And if I'm on Kris' side, that proves I'm being biased. No... what proves me being biased? I cry when I heard Kai collapsed. I cry when knowing that Tao cry. I cry when D.O, Baekhyun, Suho get hurt. Is this what a real biased I'm being?

My heart hurts so much. Say that I'm a betrayer of EXO, say that I'm not a real fan of EXO. But is it wrong that I want EXO as 12 back? Is it wrong that I just pointed out my opinion. Read those shits about Kris is a betrayer making me cry more. I really need someone right now! Why aren't people be with me when I need them while I always be there when they need me?! Why I can listen to every heartbreaking news about them while they aren't?! Why? Why I always says, "cry.. cry as much as you want because I'll always have your back" while they aren't having my back?

Gosh. I don't know. Maybe I was born to be like this. Alone lonely and only listen and comfort while I cry alone at the corner and no ones fucking care. I hate it. I hate that I have to faking so much laughs and smiles in front of them when I want they ask me, "what's wrong?" They want me to be happy as always so that they are happy. I'm not a freaking robot. If Chanyeol - that Happy Virus - can cry, why can't I? Am I born to be use? To be a puppet? To be stone? Well, I'm not.

I'm a human who has a damn feels. I can cry. I want to cry. They just don't care and doesn't want to care. I don't give a damn. I'm not going to have your back anymore guys. I'm tired. I'm really tired.

Sorry again guys. I'm really sorry for this shits.

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